25 Signs You Grew Up in an Italian Household

25 Signs You Grew Up in an Italian Household

"Mangia!"
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I grew up in Middletown, Connecticut, the official sister city of Melili, Sicily, in Italy. I grew up living with my grandparents and my mother, all of whom are mostly Italian. These are the telltale signs you grew up in a traditional Italian household like I did.

1. Your last name ends in a vowel.

My family name is Talevi. My best friend's is Bibisi. You get the idea.

2. You talk with your hands.

Are you even Italian if you don't use hand gestures for every sentence that comes out of your mouth?

3. You never say no to food.

Even if you’re not hungry, you eat anyways. Italians hold the value that when a guest enters the house, he or she must eat. If you reject food when it is offered to you, it is perceived as rude. This means that even if you don’t come into the house hungry, when Nonna offers you a home cooked meal, you eat it. And if you are offered seconds, you better take that too. You never leave an Italian household hungry. The interaction will go something like this.

4. Everyone yells in your house.

No one is angry. That's just how we talk.

5. Dinner discussions revolve around food.

You talk about what you ate earlier that day, and what your next meal is going to be. It's disgusting, really.

6. Everyone talks at the same time.

There is never a quiet moment at your family dinner table. Everyone just talks over each other, and everyone tries to be the loudest. You really have to shout if you want to get a word in.

7. You literally have two thousand cousins.

And aunts, and uncles, etc. How are there so many?

8. Family gatherings are a circus.

When you get the family together for reunions or holidays, it's so loud that you can't even hear yourself think. You're better off stuffing your face with food than trying to yell over everyone else.

9. There are at least four men named Joe in the family.

10. "Mangia!"

"Eat!" You're not leaving this table until you finish your plate, so you better "mangia!"

11. Bread is acceptable for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

Italian bread is part of every meal: toast for breakfast, meatball grinder for lunch, and pasta with bread dipped in sauce for dinner. Bonus points if it's garlic bread.

12. Parmesan cheese goes on everything.

13. Wednesday is Prince Spaghetti night.

On Wednesdays, we don't wear white.

14. Everyone in the family has dark hair and eyes.

If not, you're accused of being the mailman's child.

15. Pastina cures all.

Pastina is Italian penicillin! Sick? Eat pastina. Headache? Eat pastina. Going into labor? Eat pastina.

16. Your family pet likes pasta.

There's nothing like Nonna's homemade sauce! She wants everyone to eat her homecooked meals, even the dog.

17. Don't even think about bringing home a boy who's not Italian.

We don't call ourselves thick-headed guineas for nothing.

18. You were taught to leave the house lights on it so it looks like someone is home in order to deter robbers.

Bulletproof logic right there. Have you ever met an Italian with a home security system?

19. "Capiche?"

You've never heard your parents say, "do I make myself clear" at the end of a sentence. Only "Capiche?" It means, "understand?" and is almost always accompanied by the go-to Italian hand gesture (See #2).

20. All hail the Italian horn.

It protects you from the Evil Eye.

21. You've gotten the Sicilian silent treatment at least once.

If you're lucky enough to be Sicilian as well as Italian, you know that your family is capable of straight-up ignoring your existence for the rest of your life. We take grudges to the grave.

22. You've been called "stunad!"

Stupid.

23. Cannolis are the ultimate dessert.

24. "Just a bite" never means just a bite.

If you ask for a little bit of something, you're going to get a ton of it. You can say "that's good," but Nonna is going to keep scooping food onto your plate.

25. When you go out to eat, you go to Italian restaurants.

But not Olive Garden because that's not Italian.




Cover Image Credit: Pinterest

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15 Things You've Heard As An Ice Cream Scooper

And the responses you wish you could have said...
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As many of you know, being a customer service employee can be exhausting. Sure, you may like working with people, but there's no doubt that you reach your limit here and there. Ice cream scoopers are a very specialized group of customer service employees who deal with people in their most vulnerable state: when they are craving sweets. If you've ever worked in an ice cream shop, here is a list of things you've definitely heard from customers, with responses of what you probably wish you could have said.

1. "I want cookie dough."

OK, seriously? "Cookie dough" is all you're giving me? Now I have to ask you a million questions about what size, what kind of cone, what type of toppings, etc. I know you may think I read minds, but I swear I don't.

2. "Just give me the regular cone. You know, the normal one."

Well, we offer three different kinds of cones. What's normal to me may not be normal to you. Chances are I'll scoop your ice cream into a sugar cone and then you'll look at me like I have ten heads because you expected a wafer cone *sigh*

3. "Can I try the vanilla?"

Are you kidding me?! I'm not sure if this is because you've never had vanilla before or if it's because you have a very critical opinion of vanilla ice cream, but either way... I suggest you take it down a notch. Your only excuse is if you're four years old.

4. "I promise, this is my last taste."

Is it, though?

5. "Oh wait, actually, THIS is my last one."

Yeah, that's what I thought.

6. "After all of these tastes, I won't have enough room to actually order a cone of ice cream!!!"

Extra points if you and your friends all laugh at the joke you just made.

7. "Is that one good?"

Honestly, does my opinion of ice cream really matter to you? Obviously, I'm going to say I like it, because I work here and it's ice cream, so yeah, it's good. What am I supposed to say? Should I tell you that I actually find that flavor repulsive and that it sort of tastes like soap? Probably not.

8. "Which flavor's your favorite?"

Let's be honest, there's a very high chance that our taste in ice cream is completely opposite altogether. So, when I say that the peanut butter chocolate is my favorite flavor, you'll probably smile and nod politely, and then order mint chocolate chip. Awkward.

9. "Just surprise me!"

No, no, no. Please do not put your ice cream order in my hands, that's way too much pressure. Also, I'm a terrible decision maker.

10. "Do you have chocolate ice cream?"

Nope! *Sarcasm*

11. "Which flavors are gluten-free, sugar-free, fat-free, and dairy-free???"

Why did you even enter this ice cream shop? Don't get me wrong, I'm sympathetic to allergies and sensitivities, but I have a feeling you're just being obnoxious.

12. "I bet your right arm gets pretty muscular, huh?"

Ha. Ha. Haven't heard that one before! Are you going to make the Popeye joke next?

13. "Could you just add some hot fudge on top of that for me?"

Listen carefully. If you ordered a kiddie size ice cream in a cup, and the ice cream fills the cup completely, where would there be room for the hot fudge? The answer is nowhere. I then have to transfer your ice cream into a larger cup that leaves room for the fudge, which easily could have been avoided if you had simply warned me of your fudge desires beforehand.

14. "It costs HOW MUCH?! I remember when a cone of ice cream was 50 cents!"

I don't make the prices. I, too, would love if an ice cream cone still cost 50 cents, but the unfortunate truth is that it does not, nor will it ever again.

15. "Oh, my gosh! I don't know how you work here and stay so thin! I would eat everything in the store!"

Oh don't worry, I DO eat everything in the store.

If you've ever said any of these things to an ice cream scooper, they probably made a joke about you to their coworker when you weren't looking. But it's okay, they immediately praised afterward as long as you tipped well. Ice cream scoopers are nice in nature, I swear. And they don't hold grudges!

Happy scooping!

Cover Image Credit: Pixabay

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