If you want the honest-to-God truth, it was hard. I spent a first year and a half at a small state school located in Salem, Massachusetts, otherwise known as Salem State University. I thought I loved Salem State, but as the months went on, I realized I hated absolutely everything about it. It's a great school, it just wasn't the perfect match for me. I have a hard time admitting when I am wrong, and sadly I was very wrong about the school I picked. I kept quiet, joined clubs, made friends and went to parties. I really forced myself to like the school, but it became exhausting. I sat in class wondering if anyone else was as unhappy as I was. Eventually I made the choice to transfer. I didn't tell my friends or even my boyfriend at the time. I packed up and went home for the summer and let the thought marinate.
By the end of my fall semester as a sophomore, I had already been accepted to the University of Massachusetts, Amherst. Things fell apart quickly that semester. I lost a majority of my friends and my boyfriend. I decided transferring would be the best option. I left behind my sister and a few friends, but I figured things would be OK, I could always visit. I was officially going to the best of the best, "The Zoo." One of my good friends from home had transferred fall semester, she looked like she was really living the life, so I followed in her footsteps. However, no one ever told me that transferring wasn't all fun and games.
UMass has 29,000 people. That's almost three times the size of Salem State. The classes were not only larger, but significantly harder compared to what I was used to. The night life was busy, I often had to battle between homework and going out. The dining hall had edible food, thus I ate four times a day packing on the weight, unlike Salem State where I barely ate once a day because the food upset my stomach. The hardest part was after the dust settled and I realized wasn't making any friends. I was social, I made an effort to talk to people in my classes but I never felt included, I felt like a bother. I began sulking in my room, and crying to my sister on the phone about how even though their were so many people I still felt alone. I blamed myself, maybe I was weird, too talkative, too awkward, etc. I went home for Easter Break and told my parents I wasn't going back to UMass, and that I planned on going to a community college in our town. I was throwing in the towel.
I went back after break and locked myself away in my room. For the next week I cried and I ate once a day out of fear of looking weird eating alone in the dining hall. I decided to give it one more shot, I messaged a girl who had previously followed me on IG a few days back that also attended UMass. I explained to her that I was "normal" and "fun" and that I really needed friends. We met up, and she was really nice about the whole thing. She explained to me that the last time she introduced a new friend to her friend group it turned sour, so they were all a little skeptical of a new addition. Despite the fact that they were scared, they let me in and treated me as if I was always one of them. Three months later I do not regret my decision at all. I have a great group of friends, a job on campus, and I'm even looking into clubs to join next semester.This transition has taught me to be myself and never be ashamed of who I am. People will appreciate you for who you are. By being alone I learned how to be independent, I also learned just how brave I was by sticking out the entire Transferring Process. I figured out my major after changing it three times, and that good things don't come to those who wait, they come to those who pursue what they really want. My advice is this; follow your heart eventually you will be exactly where you should be.
