In a world that is constantly evolving, changing, going and going, why is it so hard to sit down and take time for yourself?
We live in a very progressive time -- new developments happen daily and if you stop, then you might miss out. It's hard to take time for yourself. FOMO -- fear of missing out -- may be one reason that it's hard to just sit back and be alone. Friends are out going on different adventures or going out together and you don't want to be that person who stays home rather than go out. You don't want to miss out on an inside joke or the most recent drama. If you stop and take a minute, then you might miss out or get left behind. I get it. We all have been there. Another reason may be that you have been conditioned since your early teens to set a certain standard for yourself -- whether in school, socially or in the workplace. To have everything be perfect, to not stop until you are finished, that free time is wasted time, or taking time on your own is time away from getting ahead. Social Media makes it even more difficult to spend quality time with yourself, as you click one button on your phone and you can connect with anyone.
Above all, I think the stigma against being by yourself is what contributes most to our excessive need to be around others. Whether it's going for a walk, going to the beach, movies or shopping, if you are alone, then it's more than likely that you are concerned with how others perceive your aloneness -- that you are alone because you don't have anyone to be with or that something is wrong with you as a person. Being on your own is not a bad thing. I personally have a lot of respect for someone who is able to go out and do things on their own.
There is a difference between being alone and being lonely. A very important thing to understand, loneliness is just purely removing yourself from social outings altogether and hiding away. Loneliness is a root cause of depression and health problems. We need social interactions in order to live a healthy lifestyle. But constant social interaction is bad for you as well. Think of yourself as a cup, weird I know, but the cup is all the energy you have, being around others takes a lot out of you and after a while, you're out. Alone time is the time to refuel, to rest and just be with you. It's peaceful, not stressful and purely spending time how you want to spend it. Being alone gives you time to explore what you like as an individual, time to get to know yourself, clear your mind and relax.
I am an introverted extrovert; in places where I am comfortable, I'm extremely outgoing. But when I don't feel comfortable, I'm about as introverted as can be. I've become much more open to alone time in the past few months. I find myself out and about on my own a lot, I go to the beach to read and I shop on my own mostly. In prior years, I would never do anything on my own. I spent my early high school years constantly surrounded by people, and it took a toll on my mental and emotional health. I was always exhausted, my mind was cluttered and I was a mess. I didn't take that important time for myself, I didn't allow myself to explore what I enjoy as an individual and I was never at peace with myself because I didn't know who I was. Alone time for me was uncomfortable. Once I got accustomed to the fact that it is OK to be alone, I accepted it and made it a comfortable situation. Spending time with myself by taking the time to read, was what led me to discover who I am. It's a place of security that everyone needs in their life.
Alone time is not wrong or a waste of time, not taking any time to be on your own can be more detrimental than you would think.
Whether it's 15 minutes or an hour a day, try to take that time to be on your own. Free your mind and let yourself rest. Go for a walk, read, watch a movie, do something that you enjoy and let yourself be in the moment with just you and whatever you put your mind to. There is nothing wrong with it.
