I was having a conversation with my mother today. It was short and rather upsetting.

As usual, it started off with the normal "hello" and "how are you" statements. Then I proceeded to ask her how she felt life was going for her at this moment in time. As most people would say, they're aggravated from all the stresses of work, upset for a variety of reasons, and just plain tired. She began to tell me of her altercation that she had with a black man. But instead of stating how this man had aggravated her at her workplace, she just told me that he aggravated her by just being a "black ass man."

I knew what my mother meant by this statement. How could I not? I grew up in the South after all. Not as Southern as you might think. Really quite progressive, but still the South.

I knew exactly what my mother meant. Many individuals associate very negative qualities with black individuals, especially black males that come off as "ghetto," another cultural implication that impedes our understanding of the cultural differences that we all share.

As I tried to explain to my mother all the issues that arise with the phrasing of the statement that she just gave, she began to offend me in ways I never could imagine that my mother would.

I asked her very kindly to just rephrase her statement by saying "There was a black man I met today that just happened to be an ass." Or to say "I had a conflict with an ass of a man." Anything else along those lines would have been sufficient enough as well. I was just trying to highly stress the issue of using racial terms to describe negative confrontations that one might have with other people. But she continued in trying to justify her speech by stating that she encounters "black ass men" and "white ass crackers" on the daily. Basically, she was justifying her vocabulary as non-prejudice to one particular group but as a casual expression that she uses to describe many. Besides this fact, both are extremely derogatory phrases.

One thing I have noticed that most people feel is that racist terminology is not really offensive when it comes out of an individual's mouth who is also another minority race. What I mean by that is, there are Asians that feel that they can make racist comments against black people. There are Black people that feel that they can make racist comments against Latinx individuals. There are Latinx individuals that feel that they can make racist comments against Asians. It's not just White people against Black people.

We are all racially divided for superficial reasons. Most of us simply just do not realize how racism impacts our daily lives and how racism infiltrates our thoughts and our actions against others. Every hateful word that is said to any person in any kind of discriminatory manner, especially if racial terms are brought into context, is dehumanizing.

I know that my mother is an amazing human being and that she is used to using such language on a daily basis. I was not judging her for not knowing how much these comments actually hurt people. I was more upset that my mother refused to accept my suggestion in her change of language. She absolutely threw my opinion out the window. Blatantly disregarded it as "sugar coating" the "real issue".

What is the "real issue" that she claims I am sugar coating? What does that mean? I believe that the real issue she is speaking of is the disrespectful actions that are associated with their race and how there are a multitude of individuals that coincidentally fill these society-created racial stereotypes. Granted, there are many individuals that feed into the institutionalized racial slurs and see these statements as truth rather than brainwashing.

Unknowingly, brainwashing occurs in our everyday life without our full attention. I like to think of these brainwashed linguistic concepts in a similar sense to those jingles that you hear on the television set or the car stereo. "Stanley Steamer is your home cleaner!" "Red Robin, Yum!" "The Best Part of Waking Up is Folgers in Your Cup!" How many of you read these jingles in the same exact tune that it was created in? It's just normal to hear it. You hear it all the time throughout your childhood or even in your current adult life. But how true are these statements? Who's Stanley and why is he cleaning my house? Red Robin's burgers and milkshakes are not necessarily delicious, especially if you're a vegetarian or lactose intolerant like myself. Or even the Folgers brand. I don't like Folgers in my cup. I don't even brew my own coffee. I'd prefer to drink earl gray tea, which happens to taste like fruit loops.

These jingles are like the phrases that we hear through our lives, so much to the point that we become desensitized by its true meaning or purpose. Just imagine hearing phrases of "black ass man" or "white ass crackers" throughout your entire childhood or even in your current adult life. Like most people, I grew up hearing seemingly innocent but prejudice terminology to describe other people who were different than us. If you hear it frequently enough, it will just seem quite normal. No harm done, right? But there is harm done to those whose race impedes their worth to others.

To end my rant on racial terminology, I just want people to understand that its not the words themselves that hurt, but the intentions behind them. Don't use someone's skin color to define their behavioral tendencies or their value as a person. As corny as it sounds, use the characteristics people have on the inside to judge your final perception of them. We should value each other for what we are and we should not let love escape us. Hopefully, one day everyone will realize that every hurtful word that is said is more hate thrown into an already bitter world.