Recently, I came across a new vocabulary word: "gas-lighting". A dear friend of mine used it to describe her relationship with her significant other, and I wanted to know more. "Gaslighting" is a term used to describe a partner's persistent abusive actions throughout the course of the relationship. Usually, those who are victims of "gaslighting" get confused, anxious, depressed, and even experience isolation. This tactic is used when someone wants to gain power. It's a method that distorts their partner's reality. Acknowledging that you're falling victim to "gaslighting" may be difficult, but there are warning signs.

Your partner constantly reminds you of your flaws.

They point out your weaknesses and use them against you in order to make you feel vulnerable. When discussing an issue, they attack you on a personal level, instead of just addressing the issue. This gives the gaslighter power in the relationship.

They wear you down over time.

The thing about gaslighting is that it happens gradually. At first, the warning signs might not be noticeable and the relationship could be amazing. Your partner is probably someone that you could see yourself spending your whole life with. Once things start to get aggressive, it's time to re-evaluate your relationship. It's common for the victim to be completely oblivious to their partner's actions. As soon as you start experiencing anxiety, depression, confusion, or isolation, it's best to seek help right away.

That same partner who's been questioning your value is now praising you for something that you accomplished.

You start to question whether or not they're a bad person. They use this tactic to confuse you and make you question reality. If your partner doesn't follow through on their words, this is the most common warning sign. It's important to pay attention to the actions of your partner. You could easily be taken advantage of. What they're saying is all talk and it could mean absolutely nothing. They're telling you exactly what you want to hear.

An example: Your partner tells you that they would do anything for you, but the minute you ask them to go out of their way for you, they won't.

A lot of the time, the victim feels that they're walking on eggshells around the gaslighter. It's hard to express your thoughts or feelings to them because they make a point to tell you that you're wrong. The feelings of nervousness and anxiety build up, thanks to the fear you might say or do the wrong thing around them.

Seek Help

It's common to feel isolated and apprehensive in this type of situation. It's important to remember that it's not your fault that your partner turned out this way. I can't justify the way that your partner may be acting, but your best option is to reach out to someone and get help. Mental and emotional abuse shouldn't be tolerated, especially by a significant other.