It is a Friday evening, and I sit at my desk in the dorm room. Yes, I have assignments and exams to study for, but again it is a Friday evening. With little pressing obligation to do, I take a break from my studies to reflect on me. Sophomore. College student. 19.
A hectic week filled with classes has once more passed in a blur. The week before that did the same, and the one before that one passed in a similar fashion. Will life continue at such a relentless pace that on another Friday evening like tonight, I will find myself in this very same position but a senior in college? or a forty something woman in my own home, sitting just as I am now, on a different chair or at a different desk?
I believe it.
It was not too long ago that I remember taking my first step into high school, wondering how it would be like in four years when I walked across the stage for graduation. Even before that, I remember the excitement and intrigue I felt as an elementary student about to enter middle school. The person I was going into these different moments in my life, was not the person that came out, and now that I am in my second year at college, I find myself at the pinnacle of all that I had looked forward to growing up. Independence. Time to introspect. Life-long friends. Opportunity to ask questions and wonder.
And now, with all of these memories that remain embedded deeply within me of my past, I feel myself slowing down, wanting to stay in the present, reflect and stop time.
On just another Friday night like tonight I wonder, is life passing me by? Am I not living life up to its fullest potential? Am I doing enough everyday to get to this elusive future of mine that I strive towards? Perhaps, a question like this is not one worth asking, but it is a question that I wonder about nonetheless.
I have no answer to my question, and I am fairly certain that there is no one true answer. However, I define myself every days through the decisions I make, the battles I choose to fight, the close relationships I form, and the long game I play to finish my education here at school. The person I am now is not the person I was a year ago, nor will it be completely, the person I am tomorrow, in four years, or in forty years.
I stop to reflect now and remind myself to take life as it comes at me, moment by moment - to ponder and connect the experiences I have day-to-day to the values and lessons I take away - to keep an open mind to all of the possibilities and incredible happenings in the world.
Friday evenings for me at school have come to have a similar and blended feel to them. A time to relax and reflect, I am reminded of a C.S. Lewis quote: "Isn't it funny how day by day nothing changes, but when you look back everything is different?"
