I honestly just thought this was just something people told you so would dread the start of your first semester in college. I thought people told you this so you would absorb whatever amount of time you had left before you were actually on your own. I guess my thoughts were wrong because little did I know I would ever be affected by circumstances like these. I guess I have just been living in this little bubble where I thought all of these outside sources of information would never come true or at the very little affect to me personally. But, here I am now addressing how I am living with this first hand and I am wrong.

I have heard from so many different people that when your friends and you start college so many changes will occur. Ok yes this is correct however this is correct for the wrong reasons or at least to me they are. I agree yes you no longer have the ability to see your family and friends on the daily bases. But, with modern day technologies available to us we of course can always be in constant communication with one another however it will never made up for that face to face communication. The changes don't stop there though it assimilates into the types of conversations which others and you hold with one another.

I understood some changes would obviously come with the new experiences as a college student however I never thought such shocking changes would come about. Such as literally watching yourself being replaced by not only your friends with their new friends or so called "acquaintances" and even your family and their replacement of you by those located much closer to them then you are. Although, its great to seeing my parents and friends bonding with one another being 400 and plus miles away is really annoying in itself but this just makes it really obnoxiously annoying for me.

Maybe its just because I'm just lacking my own comfort here at college or even that I am just kinda envious of these forming bonds around me. But, honestly who am I to judge or speak because I can only see and speak from my point of view and how I am personally feeling not from anyone else's stand point in their own lives. Because, maybe if I did I would understand some people are going through and what's causing them aggression, actions, or responses towards certain things or at least to myself.

In addition, I have been exposed to the rapid shifting and desires to maintain and hold conversations with others. But, rather because its like we aren't the same people were a few short weeks or even months ago we have now emerged as cold and unloving individuals towards one another while others have grasped and rekindled these new bonds with one another. Like suddenly we are a camp fire thats suddenly been able to spark up in the woods and hopefully its able to stay that way too. Because, if everything else in life seems to be experiencing whatever your worst fear is my fear would be that this fire starts to burn out and I'll just be left with these over turned ashes for myself to have to try and figure out what exactly to do with them next.

I have tried drastically since becoming a college student to maintain my relationships with my friends and family while also attempting to build and create new relationships with the individuals which I have met. However, its basically a laugh in the face to me because I seem to never be able to appease the majority of either one of the parties due to a plethora of reasons however like always none are ever directly brought to my attention preventing me to learn how to have more success with any form of relationships with others.

Because the main question I have to ask others in my situation or in similar ones is how you can go from knowing another individual like the back of your hand to feeling like your connect with them has diminished and even though the other party might feel obligated to be offering me their reinsurance of "love and support" for me.