Is it rape? This is the question that is asked all too frequently.
“We were both drunk” or “I don’t remember.” Those are the phrases that a girl may have in her mind after waking up naked next to the guy she met at the party last night. Yes, sometimes we get out of control, and he may be taking care of you for the night. But that does not mean he gets to take you as his prize. Or maybe you have had sex with them before when you were sober, but that does not guarantee they want to have sex again either. Whatever the barrier in the mind is, just know that someone may be going through the same thing.
Sometimes, she may not feel as bad as she think she has to feel. I’ve heard of stories that were not reported get justified with “it wasn’t violent” or “ it’s not as bad as would you hear in the news.” We have to remember that everyone has different experiences. What may be my entire world might be one-fourth of a world to my peers.
On my campus, there have been many incidents when both were drunk. And then some students will start talking smack about the girl. “She’s a slut” or “She was asking for it the whole night.” Yes, sometimes you may choose to flirt earlier but that does not mean yes to sex later in the night when you’re both buzzing.
However, any sex that wasn’t consensual is classified as sexual assault. And saying yes when under the influence of drugs or alcohol is NOT considered sex with consent. In line with the law, someone who is under the influence of anything cannot give consent. This also goes for minors; they are not legally capable of giving consent, even to another minor!
Seventy-five percent of sexual assault cases that are reported to law enforcement involve either party being under the influence. Alcohol is the number one date rape drug used to get someone to get in bed. This number has to decrease. It is sad that many of these incidents are happening on college campuses. College is the place where we are supposed to expand our knowledge and education. It is also frustrating to me that most of these incidents happen with “friends” or someone that we may be talking to. Just because you may be cool with each other does not make it okay for them to take advantage of you.
Since April is Sexual Assault Awareness Month, I want to invite people to just keep an eye out for unusual behavior at any parties. If you see a guy bothering the little shy girl, just go up and talk to them. This goes the opposite way too — people like to focus on rape as a women's issue but it is not solely women who encounter these traumatic experiences. This will just send the message that you’re watching. Wear denim for Denim Day on April 27th to raise awareness of rape and sexual assault.
If you are ever caught wondering if it was rape or not, speak up. No one should feel uncomfortable, scared or alone. If you think you were raped, contact your local authorities or a trusted individual you feel safe with.
