"Until you get comfortable with being alone, you'll never know if you're choosing someone out of love of loneliness."

Recently in my life, I have watched not only myself but many of my close friends go through breakups. No matter who broke up with who or the reason why, either my friends or their ex have jumped into another relationship or are dependent on someone's company. After a breakup, the loss of a friend or partner may leave you feeling lonely, but this is not the time to jump into a new relationship or even into a new friendship. Until you are happy with your own company, you can not be happy with someone else and their company.

I recently am out of a long-term relationship. At first I felt lonely. I felt like I lost the person who I talked to about my day and about everything going on in my life. I felt confused as to the sudden change, but I just had to realize that people don't always keep their promises and that people do in fact change. Heartbroken as I was, I tried to fill the hole with other people. I tried to avoid my feelings which only made things worse. I couldn't stand to be alone for the first couple of weeks. Some of my friends suggested I should start dating, and at first I considered it, but then I came to the best conclusion. After realizing that I had to be happy with who I was as a person in order to move on and be happy, I started working on myself.

I started spending time doing things I love such as painting and writing. I started working out again, and I can proudly say I have started to lose weight after it seemed like it would be impossible due to doubt and a persistent medical condition. I started hanging out with friends, and slowly but surely I found who I was and I have started to fall in love with myself again. I started focusing on my work, and I have watched as my hard work is paying off. I started spending more time studying, because letting someone else ruin your future will only make you feel worse about yourself. Most importantly, I started turning to God. I started praying more and trusting God with my future.

Unfortunately, I watched some of my friends do the opposite. They started going out more and started filling the hole that their ex left with other people and meaningless items. They couldn't stand that empty void and instead of dealing with it, they filled it with things that only fueled their unhappiness. Trying to avoid your feelings is only going to make you more unhappy. You don't need to go on dates or fill your time with other people. You need to spend time alone and be happy with being alone before you are ready to move on and spend time with someone else. You need to look back on what went right, what went wrong, and how you as a person can change to become the best version of yourself. Don't you want to be the best version of yourself for the person you are meant to be with? Or do you want to avoid your feelings and get into relationship after relationship that will just end because you don't know what you want or what makes you happy?

The saying that you have to love yourself before you can love someone else is so true. How can you show someone love if you can't even look in the mirror everyday and love the choices you make or the events unfolding in your life? If you are unhappy with who you are, change it. Work on being the best version of yourself you can be because when that person who you are meant to be with comes along, don't you want to be able to love them? Don't you want to be able to know what you want instead of run away at the fear of getting hurt?

Until you are happy with being alone, you can only love someone because they fill that void. Until you are happy with the world and the nature around you, you can't enjoy the world with someone else. And until you are happy with the choices you make and your character, you will never be able to love someone else. You will love their company because it will fill that void, but that is all. You might think you are falling for them, but you are only falling for the comfort they provide you. Because until you are happy being alone and with who you are as a person, you will never be happy with someone else no matter how amazing they are.