When tragedy strikes we all assume our friends and family will be there to pick us up mentally and physically, but is that true? We all know the saying "Blood is thicker than water, "but what does that mean? There are a variety of definitions for "family", but most people consider their family to be those of blood relation. Don't get me wrong, I love all of my family members, but I will be the first to admit blood does not always correspond with those that support you.

For those that know me, know that I was diagnosed with Acute Myeloid Leukemia in October of 2015 and as I'm sure you've heard before cancer shows you who actually cares about your well-being. At first I could not grasp the idea that people would drop out of my life simply because I got sick, unfortunately, I was wrong. I have always been close to my immediate family and I have taken pride in the fact that we were a "tight-knit" group. I've always looked forward to Christmas dinner at my Nana's house, or birthday dinners at Outback, or even looking in the stands at my high school soccer games and seeing my family cheering me on. To me, blood was family and friends were friends. Last October the amount of positive feedback I received after announcing my diagnosis was unbelievable. But, just like when you lose a family member, the number of people that check up on you decreases. People use the excuse that they don’t want to bother you, or that they know you are going through a lot right now, but ponder on this question: when has feeling loved and supported ever been a bad thing? Of course, I was overwhelmed and I was fighting for my life, but I still go back and read those messages to remind myself exactly why I’m putting myself through hell to survive. My family immediately came down to Georgia to visit me (we are from Pennsylvania originally) and although I was too sick to remember it, I remember being thankful that they were there. Their visit was followed by two visits from two other groups of my friends, friends that I now consider my family. All four of them collectively made me forget for a small period of time what I was going through, they made me laugh and they even made me cry, but all-in-all they were there for me. A year later, those same people, and the same family members are still the ones supporting me and making sure I get through this devastating experience.

In moments of anger and weakness I have pushed my limits with these select people, but isn’t that another perk of family? You get to yell, be angry and even cry to them, yet they still love you just as much. Now, I’m not saying that the family or friends that couldn’t visit me mean any less to me. There are those who have shown their support in many different ways and I appreciate that completely. I’ve also learned from this experience that family and friendships are a two-way street. Sadly, some people that were my best friends ended up becoming people I no longer talk to and vice versa. In this past year, there have been times when those family members needed me. My cancer does not take precedence over their issues, I am not naïve to think that and quite honestly I love talking about anything besides the fact that I’m sick. The people that understand me most are those that do not see me in a different light, they are the people that understand that I am still here to listen just as much as I was before and maybe even a little more. So, I ask again: is blood thicker than water? I have family members who I have seen a handful of times in my entire life and who know me as much as a stranger on the street. These are the people that selfishly care to tell you more about what is going on in their lives, rather than ever dare to listen to your updates or those that just mail you a card once a year and never care to call. Do they take rank over the friends and other family members who have been there during the lowest points of my life? My answer is simple: no. Family is earned. Family is shown through resilience, love and compassion. I am at fault for being a lousy family member at times, of being selfish and caught up in my own life, but the beauty of it is that you always get another chance with family. You get to right your wrongs and move past the stupidity. You get to fight and yell and then forget about it in 10 minutes. If you are considered family to me, you have earned the right to screw up sometimes. Family is so much more than heredity and ancestors.

So, I’ve admitted that some of my friends have been there more than those I am related to, so what? My point is to never take that for granted. Never take your support system for granted. The people that show up in the times you need them most are the ones you will thank God for at night. My family has made me angry and hurt my feelings, but they have also made me laugh and reminded me why life is so precious. That is something I wouldn’t trade in for anything.