In high school, I wanted to be a part of everything. I wanted everyone to know me. I wanted to be somebody and have a purpose. When I came to college, I wanted the same thing. I joined a sorority so that I could do anything and everything on campus and I met a bunch of different people.
Sophomore year came around, and then I put in double time by applying for Res-Life and being a part of four other organizations. Now I’m almost halfway done in my college experience and I have come to question if what I wanted was a little too much.
I can tell myself every day, “Just think of how great your resume is going to look!” I can bring up the fact that I am meeting so many people that I can become great friends with as well as network with. I can imagine about possibly having a sort of impact on someone’s life that I wouldn’t have had if I was not so involved.
But...
Then I start saying, “Maybe I can change a few things around and fit in a nap!” Sometimes I try to lie to myself and act as if I don’t have as much homework as I actually do. I have two places to write my daily schedule so that I don’t forget about all that I have to do. Every day I wonder if it’s too much. Am I spread too thin?
I’m stressed, I’m tired, I’m going, going, going all the time. Is it a college thing or a me thing? Do I want to be involved in this much, or do I feel obligated to be involved in this much. I ask myself that a lot. I know what people say, “Don’t take on more than you can handle.” In hindsight, I thought I could handle it.
Anyways, back to the question. Do I want to be involved this much, or do I feel obligated to be involved this much? Truth is, I want it. Yes, I question because, nine times out of 10, it’s just me wanting to be lazy that makes me not want to do things. It’s me wishing every day of the week was Saturday where I don’t have to wake up early or care about what I eat. Saturday is when it’s socially acceptable to have a Harry Potter Marathon instead of spending five hours on homework.
Even though all of that sounds nice, and I can’t wait for the next Saturday, I still want to be involved. I want to be a part of something, and to be a part of it with others. I want to build friendships and I want to have a great resume. However most of all, I want to better myself.
I don’t want to be the same girl I was when I walked on my campus for the first time as a bright eyed, excited incoming freshman on orientation day. I hope to have grown from that -- so much so that I look back on that time and become thankful for it. Not annoyed or jealous of how easy I had it back then, but happy to know I have become a motivated, smart, hardworking woman and have grown into an adult that I and my family are proud of.
So involvement, classes, getting spread too thin, the stress. Is it worth it?
Definitely.
