On most weekends, while a good portion of my friends might be out and about, hanging out, here I am, recuperating from a week's worth of dates with my boyfriend, Netflix. You see, it’s not that I don’t like hanging out with my friends — quite the opposite, actually. It’s not even that I don’t like being around people; I just need some time away from them. I’m what you call an introvert. Always have been, possibly always will be. The misconception about introverts is that we hate people and want nothing to do with them (which is true for some of us, depending on when you catch us), but most of the time, that’s not true. While extroverts gain their energy from being around people, we get ours from spending time with ourselves, gathering up our thoughts, tapping into our emotions and basically assessing the meaning of life. Don't get me wrong — we like to party. We just do it internally. Alone. Away from other people.
All that being said, you can only imagine the fleeting moment of terror I felt when college started.
It had nothing to do with the fact that there were going to be people everywhere. It had everything to do with the fact that I had to be around them. But I found that if I sat in a corner by myself all the time, I’d be missing possibly the best years of my life. So I decided to get myself out there and not be so…well, introverted.
Like any major life change, emerging from the shadows of introversion can be a painstaking process. But you gotta do it, one step at a time, people. One. Step. At. A. Time.
And I'm here to help through those steps.
1. Nix this line: “I’m sorry, I can’t. I'm so busy!"
You know exactly what I’m talking about. We all give excuses (though some of them are valid) as to why we can’t do something simply because we don’t want to do it. But that needs to end. No one wants to hear about you moving your cousin (twice removed from your dad's side of the family) to India. What if you miss out on a Kodak-worthy moment from that get-together you didn't attend because Evan Peters was calling your name from the TV screen? OK, don’t answer that if you'd rather have Evan Peters calling your name from the TV screen. Shame on you.
2. Join an organization.
GASP. I know. It’s good to actually do something on the weekends that might require some of your time and has to do with people. Don’t worry. Take a deep breath and, as Shia LaBeouf instructed us as only Shia LaBeouf could, JUST DO IT!
3. Join Greek Life.
Though I myself am not part of Greek Life, it’s a great way to get involved in your school and become part of a sisterhood or brotherhood. You’ll meet people, do numerous activities, mixers — the whole nine yards.
4. Pace yourself.
Now, I know my suggestions so far have been pretty bold, but I’m also not telling you to follow each one immediately. All of these things come in due time, and it’s important to pace yourself. Give yourself some time to get used to being out in the open and get into the groove of it naturally. You’ll find your place...and your pace. (See what I did there?)
5. Be honest.
If you don't want to go somewhere, don't go. Really. You don't have to do everything. Just do something.
6. Befriend that kid in class.
Going to class and hightailing it straight out of there might be the move for you, but why not actually talk to the kid sitting beside you? Some of the people I'm friends with now wouldn't be my friends if we hadn't taken the chance and talk to each other. You never know — they might want to be friends with you, too, but could be fellow introverts who have not yet begun to venture out of the shadows.
7. Be alone.
This step is the most important. I know this whole article is guided toward introverts getting out of their comfort zones, but you can’t forget to still spend time with yourself before anyone else. Even if you’re hanging out every weekend, you still need to find the time to hang out with you. And that’s always OK.
It's hard out here for introverts like us. While everyone finds us asocial, we know the truth. Though college can be daunting due to the fact that it seems like we'll never find any time to ourselves, it can also be a time for us to finally come out of our shells, be new people, and grow beyond our high school selves.
Trust me. It worked for me. Getting out there and making myself known resulted in me forming friendships with people I couldn't imagine college without and making memories along the way. These people, I believe, will be my friends for life, all because I took a chance and said hello.
I know everyone says these are the best years of our lives all the time. They're filled with angst, bad grades, Greek Life, friends, dates, regretful morning classes and everything else that goes along with it. But that's what makes it so great. And though some of these college days seem terrifying at times, what better way to do college than to fully experience it? This guide isn't to scold you, nor is it aimed to try and throw you out to the sharks (aka people). It's to make you be aware of your surroundings and not to let certain soon-to-be memories slip through your fingers just so you can replace them with your remote control.
College is a time to find yourself, re-invent yourself and be present. And I promise you that once you're present in your surroundings and step out of that introverted bubble just a step, it'll be worth it.
