It is almost that time again as winter break starts to wind down and it is time to head back to campus. Back to classes, homework, headaches, and stress. Yay, but it's not all bad. At least you get to go back to all of the school friends you haven't seen since last year.
Unless last semester you didn't make any friends because of how painfully shy, you are and now you are going into this semester literally friendless.
The semester just looks really bleak to you right now as you are preparing to deal with another semester of being shy, eating alone, spending most of your time in your dorm binging Netflix and eating Domino's pizza.
Don't get discouraged just yet. There is nothing wrong with you, you're just an introvert which means that you would rather be by yourself than be surrounded by a group of people. Which is perfectly fine, everyone functions in different ways. Some people are more social than others. Some people are extroverts.
Being an introvert isn't a bad thing, it just means that you may have to work and push yourself out of your comfort zone to make connections with people and make friends.
I know it can be hard, trust me. I know because growing up I always had the hardest time coming out of my shell. I was really shy as a child which led me to not have many friends. It wasn't until I went to college that I started to step outside of my comfort zone and make friends.
I want to help out all of the introverts out there and give some tips so that this semester might be different, one where you'll meet new people and make friendships:
1. Don't stay in your dorm all day
I know it is a lot easier to just stay in bed than go through the awkwardness of having to go out and talk to people, but then you'd just be going backward, away from your goal of making friends. Just put on your smile and get ready to socialize.
2. Don't be the damsel in distress
Opportunities don't just happen. It isn't realist to just wait in your dorm all day and expect someone to come to you and instantly befriends you. You are sometimes going to have to make the first step and start a conversion. You may be surprised that there are many people in college who are introverts like you.
3. Don't make excuses for why you don't want try
"I'm too shy." "I'm too awkward." "No one is going to like me anyway so I shouldn't try anyway."
You never know what is going to happen unless you try. There are people on campus who are going to like you for you, I promise! You just got to set the excuses aside and just go for it.
4. Be brave, don't panic, just breath. You got this!
I know how scary and never-racking it can be to start a conversation up with someone new. But the worst thing that can happen is there is no connection. There are a bunch of people on campus, just because you didn't connect with one person doesn't mean it is all over.
The most important thing is that you tried, and the more you practice the easier it will be. You never know how far a "hi" can go.
5. Make friends in class
This is one of the best ways to practice talking to other people by talking to someone you will see on daily basis. On the first day of classes in every semester, I make it my mission to at least make one friend in every one of my classes so I have that go to person in that class and not feel so lonely. It also makes when you have group projects a lot easier to handle. You already have one thing in common: the class your in. Work with that!
6. Join clubs
Joining clubs and organizations is one of the best things you can do. Most colleges have different ones that appeal to really everyone's interest. Picking a club based on your interests means you are going to be around people that have similar interest with you. Easier to talk to someone when you share a common interest.
7. Don't be afraid to ask if you can join in or tag along
If you see someone sitting alone in the cafeteria, ask if you could sit with them or if you see someone sitting alone in the library if you could sit next to them. The worst thing that can happen is they say no, the best thing that can happen is they say yes. People can be very friendly and like you want to make new friends.
Another idea is if you have a friend who is going out with other people, ask if you can join. Sometimes a friend's friends can become your friends.
8. Don't let being an introvert define you
Just because you aren't an extrovert, doesn't mean you should feel it is impossible to make friends. It will just take a lot of putting yourself out there even if it feels embarrassing. In time you will not care about people's opinion and if they are judging you. Nothing is impossible, just remember that!
9. You are not weird if you don't make friends right away
It is hard to connect with people. College is huge and, it takes times to find the right people to connect with. Sometimes days, weeks, months, and even years. Don't get frustrated like everything else in life. Things take time.
I know seeing other people having fun with their friend groups and being able to be social so easily may make you feel down, but know this that people tend to pretend they are doing a lot better then they are, so there is no need to feel sad. Just keep focusing on your growth, not on everyone else's.
10. Step out of your comfort zone
No matter how scary and terrifying it is. That what college is all about: trying new things and finding out who you are as a person. Basically a lot of trial and error. You never know what to expect unless you try. You know the best things happen in the least expected places. Try it, and if you don't like it, no problem just quit! At least you tried!
