Being An Introvert In An Extroverted World

Being An Introvert In An Extroverted World

Introverts often have to adapt to extroverted conditions
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I am an introvert. I tend to be quiet around people I don't know, I enjoy spending time alone, and I get drained after interacting with people for long periods of time. However, I don't really have a problem talking to people I don't know, I enjoy being a leader, and I am in two majors that heavily rely on interacting with others. Introverts are stereotyped as having no friends, being totally antisocial, and being weird. Extroverts, on the other hand, are celebrated; they are the go-getters, the leaders, the life-of-the-party.

Introversion is frowned upon and seen as a bad thing in our culture, while extroversion is sought after. Our society is geared towards extroverts. Social norms involve doing group-oriented things and being a social, outgoing person. While having a night in for Netflix is glorified, it is seen as a temporary break from social activities instead of something that happens regularly. Being quieter or doing things alone is seen as weird by some people.

Recently, I came across this article by The Atlantic about schools overlooking introverts. After reading the article, I found it very relatable; we are often pushed to participate in our classes, with many having points based on how many times you speak in class. This is meant to spur discussion but can be dreaded for introverts. I personally do not have a problem speaking in front of others; some days, I may not have anything I want to contribute to class and may rather soak information in silently and on my own.

Reading about how schools are extrovert-oriented made me think about how society is extrovert-oriented. Introverts often have to adapt to extroverted conditions, both in school and the world. It's not always a bad thing; I've grown much better at being outgoing when needed and look forward to having a career that involves working closely with others. But why should we have to change our underlying personalities? Why should we have to completely change and adapt to fit what is seen as the "norm?"

Being an introvert in an extroverted world requires a lot of energy. Sometimes I have to push myself to be outgoing and work with others. Sometimes I wish that society could accommodate introverts more and respect the strengths that we have rather than mainly focusing on our weaknesses and encouraging us to change.

Great leaders can be introverts. Introverts can accomplish great things and be in a social field of work. Introverts can do anything an extrovert can but just may have different preferences. Rather than looking to go out with a group of friends to end a busy day, I prefer to stay in and be alone. I thrive on the energy of being alone, and alone time at night is necessary to power me through the next day.

Maybe one day, society will become more accommodating and be accepting of introverted qualities. But, for now, us introverts will continue to live an extroverted world and power on.

Cover Image Credit: Pexels

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16 Things You Know To Be True If Your Name Is Emily

*Immediately sends to five other friends named Emily*
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Emily. The name of legends, great poets and just overall fabulous people. Emily has been ranked among one of the most popular girl's names for literally decades, so it's no secret that people named Emily definitely have a few things to bond over.

1. You have very specific preferences on being called Em, Emmy or Emmers.

And most likely only ~sOmE~ people are given this privilege.

2. Every time you meet someone named Emily you instantly bond.

OMG, our parents were some of the most unoriginal people ever! Besties!

3. But secretly, you like to think of yourself as the better Emily.

Sorry not sorry.

4. Your middle name is probably Ann, Elizabeth or Marie.

Because your name is as basic as it gets.

5. You take great pride in knowing that you were the inspiration for names like Emma, Emmy and Emmaline.

And maybe you're a little jealous that your parents didn't at least try to do something a little more unique.

6. Whether it's work or school you always have to share your name with someone.

So you're probably used to attaching the first letter of your last name or broin' out and using your last name like some sort of athlete.

7. On the flip side, you were ~aLwAyS~ able to find your name on keychains growing up.


8. And unless your barista is feeling extra grouchy, it's impossible to get your name wrong on your Starbucks cup.

Unless you're one of those Emily's that spells it like Emmaleigh... *judging you*

9. Because at least you have a name no one has to ask how to spell.

Unless, well, see above.

10. You have spent hours perfecting the ideal "E" for your signature.

Do you make a backwards "3" or do you do a loopy lowercase "e?" The choice is yours.

11. And you definitely went through a phase where you dotted the "i" in hearts.

Because you just wanted to go for that extra ~GiRlY~ effect.

12. Your friends know better than to call your name in a public place.

Unless they want at least three people turning around.

13. Someone has texted you thinking they're talking to a different Emily.

Nope, nope. I'm this Emily.

14. You can appreciate that when you write the word Emily it's perfectly even on both sides.

15. And contains the perfect amount of loops.

16. Because while it might be super common, it's popular for a reason

Cover Image Credit: M Star News

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Women, Stop Apologizing When You've Done Nothing Wrong, You're Only Acting Human

Saying you're sorry too much can affect how you see yourself and your actions.

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Throughout the journey of life, there are behaviors that we pick up due to social norms. We may not realize that we unconsciously do this behavior until we become older or more self-aware. One of the behaviors that I think is so predominant is the action of women making themselves small for others or apologizing so much in situations where it is not necessary. I myself apologize for things at least 10 times a day, whether it is when someone bumps into me or when I'm not confident in my opinion.

I have learned to stop doing it when guys ask me out, and I now say "thanks for asking" or a phrase that gives rather than receives such as "thank you for giving me the time." I consciously avoid saying sorry. It's not the biggest issue, but it is something to be aware of and it affects how others view you. It can make you feel invalidated in that situation or delay what you really mean.

I've had conversations with all different types of women that have insight on how this behavior affects them. They all agree that it's still a battle for them to stop apologizing and that it stems from not being confident enough or trying too hard to not hurt other people's feelings. Some claimed they would even apologize when they didn't want to do something or were feeling ill, but their health should be a priority over the desires of other people. Being submissive can feel easier because there are no immediate consequences. If women are tough or stand up for something they can come across as harsh, so we use "sorry" to cushion the blow and make our words a little less abrasive. However, when men are assertive, they are respected and taken seriously.

When women apologize too much, they start making themselves and their actions small. And as complex, hardworking women, they shouldn't be sorry about things they can't control. I don't think women realize it much until they become self-reflective or someone else points it out.

One woman I talked to said, "I never realized how apologetic I was until I had someone point out to me saying, 'You apologize a lot for being human.'"

It can make it harder for you to grow as a woman if you're worried about other people constantly. It can hinder your confidence because you're always thinking you're in the wrong.

Realizing that not everything requires an apology is the first step to amending this behavior. It's something that most women have grown to use constantly growing up. I think it stems even from childhood when girls are more open to their insecurities. Instead, we can re-word what we say to take it from apologizing to gratitude. You can say "thank you for giving you your time" or "I appreciate this conversation, it can help our relationship."

This creates a healthy way of expressing emotions without belittling yourself and makes a way for a logical discussion of what you want and deserve. If you are conscious in your choices and living authentically, then there is no need to apologize.

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