I decided to do a little project this week. For a long time, I’ve been fascinated with the question of whether or not we can fall in love with more than one person in our lifetime. As a kid, I was always convinced that the person I was crushing on at the time was the one.
But, as they left my life and another person became the center of my fascination, past crushes seemed silly. That being said, I think that the people that you’ve fallen for, at any point in your life, are important building blocks for who you become. Even if they aren’t your soul mate, perhaps they were in your life for another reason.
So, I decided to interview a couple of friends on their first loves and first crushes. I wanted to hear these stories, and what kind of an impact these people had on my friends’ lives.
Question 1: How did you meet your childhood crush/ first love?
Person A: He was in my fourth-grade class.
Person B: On the first day of high school we sat next to each other in class, and my friend and I were giggling the whole time because of how cute he was. It’s really weird to think about everything that happened in the four years that happened after that first day.
Person C: On my first day of high school, I was the first to sit at my table in science class. He and his friend came in and sat next to me. It kind of surprised me that he chose to sit next to me, but I don’t think I was attracted to him until maybe like the third day of school.
Person D: I met my first love on MySpace, weirdly enough. We went to the same school, but we didn’t start talking until she friend requested and messaged me.
Question 2: When did you know that you had fallen for them?
Person A: It’s kind of hard to remember… I think it was just known among our class that I liked him. He would get goofy, and I liked that.
Person B: It’s really hard to pinpoint an exact moment because I kind of always knew that I had a thing for him. But it did kind of kick me in the face really hard this one time when we were at our friend’s house. We were sitting on the couch and I looked at him and I just had this really strong urge to kiss him. I really think that’s the first time I ever actively had an urge to kiss someone… and in my head I was like, “Sh*t, wow, I really like you, dude.”
Person C: We were sitting in science class and he was going to play a prank on his friend. He didn’t want me to tell his friend so he winked at me.
Person D: I first knew that I fell for her when I was itching to talk to her at every moment of the day. My infatuation with her was beyond anything I could have ever imagined. We talked every day from the moment that we woke up until the second that we fell asleep. I was never able to get enough of her.
Question 3: What was one thing that they said or did that you still think about today?
Person A: One day I had to take the city bus to school because my mom couldn’t drive me. He took the bus often, so an arrangement was made where I’d meet him at his house and we would take the bus together. I was a little early to his house, so we waited in his room. The whole time, he was going out of his way to entertain me and make me laugh. He put on those glasses with the nose attached. And he was just jumping around. being a goof. And I remember he was a Giants fan.
Person B: I still think about those really rare moments when I would see him laugh super hard and just kind of drop his f*ckboy act. The reason I liked him so much was because I wanted to be the one to make him smile and I loved it when I was able to.
Person C: There are so many moments… One week we walked to class together, and we talked most of the time… but it was also really awkward, neither of us knew what to say… mostly because I was really nervous. Another time, he chose me to be his partner for science. We were working on a lab assignment where we had to blow up balloons, and he couldn’t figure out how to blow his up, so I had to teach him how to do it. And we were being goofy and throwing the balloons at each other.
Person D: I try to avoid thinking about her and the relationship that we had because it was beyond toxic. I remember a few things that she said word-for-word… but let’s go with the moment when she told me that she loved me, but she also loved this other guy and she didn’t want to lose either of us.
Question 4: Do you think that you and them would have worked out in the end?
Person A: I don’t think so because kids are different than grown-ups.
Person B: Definitely not. When I look at it from outside of the way I felt, he’s way too obsessed with himself and with appearances to let himself be who he really is, and I could never be with someone like that.
Person C: Probably not, because we’re too different.
Person D: I think I always knew in my soul that it wasn’t meant to be between her and I. I knew in moments when I was younger that it wasn’t going to work. I loved her more in the situation. It was unbalanced. Since [things happened with her] I’ve met other people who have made me question everything I know about love, and that’s kind of driven the knowledge further that it wouldn’t have worked out between her and I.
Question 5: If you saw them today, would you speak to them? If so, what would you say?
Person A: I think if we saw each other, we’d probably just laugh about it and talk about other people that were in our class.
Person B: I’d like to say that I would tell him how I really felt for all of those years and try to get some closure, but in reality if I spoke to him I would only ask him the basic “How have you been?” questions and then obsess about how good he looks for days afterwards. Every time I’ve seen him in person since we ended things it’s brought me back to the same insecure girl I was in high school and I absolutely hate it. So no, I wouldn’t talk to him. I’d probably turn around and walk away for my own sanity.
Person C: Yes, but I would probably just carry on a normal conversation.
Person D: I would thank her for helping me feel comfortable with who I am. I knew from a young age that I wasn’t “straight”, but because of home situations and just society at the time, I tried to lock it away and not acknowledge it. But meeting her and talking to her and falling in love with her… she helped me to accept that this is who I am. And she never made it seem like what we were with each other was anything but normal. Words can’t express how much I needed that.
