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An Interview With Steven McKnight

A look into the mind of one of The Odyssey's shining stars

Nolan Nightingale

Nov 28, 2016

Susquehanna University

This week, I was lucky enough to snag an interview with the one and only Steven McKnight. Below is our conversation:

Me: Who was the 4th president of the United States?

Steven McKnight: The 4th president who mattered was Donald J. Duck.

Me: Why is the sky blue?

SM: Because it has daddy issues.

Me: What's my middle name?

SM: Your middle name is Reginald. My middle name is Reginald. Everyone's middle name should be Reginald. All hail Reginald.

Me: What is it about the dark that makes me so afraid?

SM: It's black. You're secretly racist.

Me: Why?

SM: Your parents got frisky one day.

Me: Really, why?

SM: Well, you see, when a man loved a woman very much-

Me: For the love of God, why!?!

SM: I don't know! I'm sorry! Calm down, man!

Me: Have you ever watched a man die?

SM: I watched your face as I made a pun. Does that count?

Me: Have I ever watched a man die?

SM: I always thought you were the sort to be on the receiving end of that.

Me: What is the quadratic formula?

SM: Same as the Krabby Patty secret formula. There really isn’t much of a difference, just one is fried by a piece of shit with an annoying laugh.

Me: Who was the most effective Roman emperor?

SM: Why, Nolan Nightingale, you were.

Me: When Bruce Banner turns into the Hulk, does his shit also grow in size? Otherwise, his human shit would just slide out of his Hulk-sized anus?

SM: According to the esteemed Paige Bowmaster TM, the shit itself is not a part of Bruce Banner's body. That being said, it would not become Hulk-shit. Instead, it will sit there in the bowels. I like to think Hulk's anus is the same size as Bruce's, but I also don't like to think about Hulk's anus more than I need to.

Me: Who are you again?

SM: Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to diet.

Me: Is this supposed to be an interview? Am I doing it right?

SM: I don't know. Is it?

A huge thank you to Steven McKnight for answering my very stupid questions. Read his interview of me on the Odyssey website.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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An Interview With Steven McKnight

A look into the mind of one of The Odyssey's shining stars

Subscribe to our Newsletter

I have never been so thankful to know you.

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

Don't freak out

Email the professor

Attend the first class

Keep attending class

Have a backup plan

Remember that everything works out at the end

It's mandatory to have these conversations.

1. What do you do for a living?

2. What's your favorite color?

3. Do you have any siblings?

4. What's your favorite television show?

5. When is your birthday?

6. What's your biggest goal in life?

7. If you had three wishes granted to you by a genie, what would they be?

8. What's your favorite childhood memory?

9. If you could change one thing about your life, what would it be?

10. Are you a cat or a dog person?

11. Do you believe in a religion or any sort of spiritual power?

12. If you could travel anywhere in the world, where would it be?

13. What is your ideal date night?

14. Who was/is your celebrity crush?

15. What's a good way to cheer you up if you're having a bad day?

16. Do you have any tattoos?

17. Can you describe yourself in three words?

18. What makes you the most nervous in life?

19. What's the best gift you have ever received?

20. What do you do to relax/have fun?

21. What are your priorities at this phase of your life?

Is there really such a difference in Challah bread or Easter Bread?

Ingredients

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Ingredients

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There's no other place you'd rather be in the summer.

A bad day at the lake is still better than a good day not at the lake.

You know the best beaches and coves to go to.

You have no patience for the guy who can't back his trailer into the water right.

Doing the friendly wave to every boat you pass.

The cooler is always packed, mostly with beer.

Giving the idiot who goes 30 in a "No Wake Zone" a piece of your mind.

You have no problem with peeing in the water.

You know the frustration of getting your anchor stuck.

Watching in awe at the bigger, better boats that pass by.

Knowing any swimsuit that you own with white in it is best left for the pool or the ocean.

The momentary fear for your life as you get launched from the tube.

You're able to go to the restaurants by the water wearing minimal clothing.

Having unexpected problems with your boat.

Having a name for your boat unique to you and your life.

There's no better place you'd rather be in the summer.

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