One in every ten Americans take antidepressants daily. I am one of them. I’ve taken an antidepressant for five years and plan to continue to do so. It’s helped me a lot. I’ve tried very hard not to feel ashamed of needing the help. With that said, I know that I’ve internalized and still subscribe to the stigma of taking medicine for my depression and anxiety.

I’m sharing this because I imagine that I am one of many people who have internalized this stigma.

When I began to take an antidepressant, my parents and I agreed that it was temporary. I’ve always intended to “get off” them one day, but lately, I started asking myself why? Not that there is anything wrong with that intention.

Treatment for and/or maintenance of our mental health is personal. Depression and anxiety don’t just disappear. We don’t just overcome these issues one day. It’s not just a phase.

Most of us who have depression and anxiety have to work every day to cope with it and a large majority of us also take medication to help us do so.

I feel it necessary for me to qualify/elaborate/check my use of “us.” Those who take antidepressants to help with mental health maintenance are not a uniform group. There is not one type of person who has depression or anxiety or any other mental health difference that antidepressants treat, and I do not intend to generalize the experience of taking antidepressants.

Thus, I will return to my own experience. The other day I met with my psychiatrist and I spent a large portion of the session justifying why I used to think I was ready to go off medication and why I know longer think that I should be worrying about it.

I heard myself saying I have no reason to be ashamed that I need help from antidepressants and I realized how silly it was to feel the necessity to justify to my psychiatrist why I need to continue the medicine that had been working for me for so long. She of all people knows how and why it works for me. She was not shaming me. She agreed with everything I said. That was when I noticed that despite working very hard to accept needing help, I’m still largely affected by the stigma attached to needing help with maintaining my mental health using antidepressants.

When I told my mom I was writing this article, she, a medical health profession, immediately said, “Well, don’t self-disclose.” I pushed back against that response saying, “Why? That would just be continuing to subscribe to the idea that I need to be ashamed of the fact that I take anti-depressants.” She agreed with me and said the reason that she said that was due to her profession. My mother is a midwife and nurse practitioner and has worked in healthcare for almost 40 years. She said that in her field surprisingly or unsurprisingly mental health maintenance is still largely stigmatized amongst the professionals in her field. She thought this was, of course, odd and unfortunate, as people in her field are committed to taking care of others along with helping others take care of themselves in any and all ways necessary.

Taking antidepressants to maintain mental health is a way that many people take adequate care of themselves and no one should feel ashamed of that or feel the need to further justify those actions beside self-care.