Freshman year of college, I was miserable. I really was struggling, but unless I told you, you would have no idea. My social media accounts made it look like I was having the time of my life. I meticulously picked out filters and captions and posted smiling posed pictures. I straightened my hair and held my red solo cup, and nobody knew the difference. People probably looked at my Instagram account and were envious of all the "fun" I was having at college. They also probably had no idea I was fighting with my boyfriend at the time, or hadn't actually talked to my friends from high school in weeks, because every day another seemingly happy picture was posted strategically. One of me and my boyfriend kissing in a TBT (too bad I just told him I hated him). One of me and my best friends from high school saying how much I missed them (too bad we hadn't talked since the second day of school). And another "candid" from the weekend that made sure everyone knew I was doing things they wished they could.
But it was all fake. And even though I know that other people's accounts might have the same theme, I still spend a majority of my time on my phone scrolling through Instagram because I have this need to know what everyone is doing. This need to have an inside view into what people are "really doing."
But what are those hashtags even for? So you will get likes from strangers to validate how pretty you thought you looked? Or were they so you will get likes from strangers so you will feel pretty because you are feeling kind of low? And that "candid" picture, that "no makeup" selfie or that fake loving throwback picture? What is actually the point? When you and everyone else knows it took you 30 tries to get a good selfie, and you walked around your apartment for 10 minutes trying to find the best lighting. And that candid was fake laughter that you had to take 12 times to make sure it didn't look forced and nobody had a double chin.
This isn't insulting Instagram, or the people that use it, because if you scroll through my page, all of these things are still very present. I still take forever on Friday's trying to come up with clever captions to the fun pictures with my friends. And I still make my fiance pose for selfies so people think we are having a blast. And at this point I can say that it isn't for a front anymore, that I might actually be having fun, and I have been programmed into thinking that my 200 or so followers actually care about it.
But I worry about the people using Instagram and other social media outlets the way I did during my freshman year of college. As a front to put on to not let people know if something "not so fun" was happening. Because people forget that Instagram isn't real. Because people forget that Instagram only shows the good stuff, the specially picked out stuff. Because people forget that Instagram depicts only what we want others to see. And that's not real.
