Middle Child Syndrome is a phenomenon that explains the emotional impact of being born in the middle of your siblings. As a middle child myself, I often felt left out. Its a common feeling amongst children born in the middle. The order in which children are born affects the development of their personalities, as well as their relationship with their parents. It is almost like each child grows up with a different set of parents, because each one has a different experience with them. A big part of growing up as a middle child is accepting the fact that your oldest sibling has a special ‘first born child’ bond with your parents; and that your youngest sibling has the special role of being your parents ‘baby’. Truth is, things won’t ever change. These will always be the circumstances you grow up with. But I’ve learned how to take the negative impacts of my birth order, and turn them into positives.
Here is how I became my biggest fan:
- Growing up in someone else’s shadow…
The oldest child gets to set the bar for everyone else. If your sibling was like mine, they set the bar pretty high for you. Constantly being compared to your older sibling can be draining. You may sometimes feel like nothing you do is good enough, because your older sibling did it better. People may constantly make comments about you ‘following in your siblings footsteps’ because anything you do is not original at this point. Your older sibling already did it. But you can choose to use this in a positive way. I learned to make healthy competition out of it. Setting my mind to surpassing my sisters bar was how I motivated myself into achieving great things.
2. Getting the least attention…
In most cases, the youngest child gets the most attention. He/she is often the most dependent and spoiled because he/she is the baby. You once knew what it was like to have that special attention, but then someone else came along and took your spot. But getting the least attention means that you will grow up as the most independent. You will learn to do things on your own which will give you an advantage when you reach adulthood.
3. Feeling alone/ misunderstood...
If you're like me, you grew up feeling like no one understood what it was like to have the ‘middle child syndrome’. Sometimes your siblings left you out, making you feel alone. Sometimes you needed your parents, but you didn't know how to ask for attention. But feeling alone taught you how to pick yourself up when you are down. Middle children know how to cry themselves to sleep at night, and the next day they are back to business. You pick yourself up and dust yourself off without anyone knowing there was an issue.
Though times get tough, you get tougher. I wouldn't change being a middle child if I had the choice because it made me who am today. The look on my parents faces when I achieve something, makes all my hard work worth while. When it comes down to it, you know your siblings will have your back and you'll have theirs. And because of that, they will always be your best friends. But most of all, being able to have a role model and being one to your younger sibling, is the greatest gift of all. Middle children, you're awesome! Don’t ever forget it!
