First off, you should know that I am NOT a dog hater. I love all kinds of animals, cats just happen to be my favorite.
When I was about to write my article about how much I love cats, I was thinking about how many times I've been called a "cat lady" or "crazy cat lady". I know everyone says, "If I had a dollar for every time that I've been...blah blah blah... I'd be rich." Yeah, they're being dramatic. Anyone that really knows me would say that I would seriously be rich if I had a dollar for every time someone has commented on my love for cats. After being called a cat lady hundreds of thousands of times, I decided to look into the definition of "cat lady" in Urban Dictionary. Here's what I found:
This was the #1 definition in Urban Dictionary and I laughed pretty hard. Not only is it funny, but it is exactly what I think of when I hear "cat lady". This particular definition doesn't really fit me though (maybe 20 years from now). So I kept looking. I then came across this definition:
I DIED LAUGHING (and am still laughing as I write). This is 1000% me (Mother I know you're reading this and I know you're laughing and agreeing). I am guilty of all of those things-except for smelling like cat pee-and I'm going to go through each bullet point really quick with a short, funny story on each (well, I find them funny so if you don't like them I'm not forcing you to read them obviously).
-I am guilty of attempting to dress my cats up. I used to put them in my Build-A-Bear clothes when they were young and small. Then they got fat and ripped one of the articles of clothing, so I gave up on that.
-If you go to any of my social media pages you WILL find pictures and videos of my cats and I am NOT sorry. I send my mother videos and pictures of my cat all the time and she tags me in pictures of cats on Facebook and Twitter weekly. I used to t=send pictures of my precious fur baby to my boyfriend until he told me that "he doesn't care about the stupid cat and that it's really not that cute"... Okay then, my bad.... Don't judge me on my lack of likes, retweets and shares on my social media accounts. My friends specifically said they no longer creep on me due to my excessive postings of my cats, their exact words being "we wanted to creep on you, not your cats." Whatever y'all, I see how it is.
-I tell everyone that I think my cat is "perfect", "precious", "so schweet", and "pretty" BECAUSE SHE IS (kind of). No one agrees with me. She's perfect in my eyes because she's my fur baby. I don't go around telling y'all that y'all's babies aren't perfect, so don't be rude to me or the rest of the cat lady society... Okay maybe she's not the "schweetest" (as you look at the scratches covering my arms and legs from her sneaky ninja attacks when she jumps out of the black abyss aka out from under the couch). It also happens like this...
I swear her face actually looks possessed like in that last frame. She's got the attitudes of Nicki Minaj, Joan Rivers, and Mariah Carey.. Combined. SCARY & SASSY. But obviously I love that little butthead. She isn't a fan of being held, loved on, or talked to when I want to do any of those things, so most of our interactions look something like this....
-Cats are intuitive, I don't care what anyone says. I regularly have conversations with my cat and she knows what I'm saying because occasionally she will respond! I was actually having a conversation with my cat a few days ago and my boyfriend's brother was there so he can vouch for me that I'm not making this up. I was sitting on the couch holding my cat (her name is Prim) and she was facing me. I was telling her how pretty she was and all that good stuff. Well I called her a princess and then I got really tickled because I came up with a better name-PRIMcess! Get it?! I thought it was hilarious and I was laughing so hard. Well, Prim didn't find it very funny so she put her paw over my mouth like "Mom, just stop."
-I definitely own my fair share of cat shirts, leggings, socks, pajamas, etc. I wear them proudly. NO SHAME.
-I know I have things with cats on them like a coffee mug and I was totally that girl in school with the cat notebooks and folders-when I say school I mean college. Currently. Totally me.
-My cats are my best friends, like I said I talk to them all the time. They probably don't act like they want to be my friend, but that's just a front. Secretly they love me. Or have learned to love me. Because typically, they're forced to love me. :)
So now that you've seen a little inside the mind of a not-so-old (slightly) crazy cat lady, you probably think cat ladies aren't that bad and kind of funny. Or you don't think we're kind of cool and kind of funny, and if you're one of those then you're obviously the crazy one.
