There are introverts, who are shy and often times very quiet and collected. There are extroverts who are loud, obnoxious, and some of the friendliest people you’ll ever meet. Then, there’s me. I’d like to think I’m somewhere in the middle of that broad spectrum.

“You’re either one or the other!” “You can’t be both!” Yet, here I am. I can be a gregarious woman one night approaching strangers, asking them what their name is and what they do for a living. I can also be the kind of girl who finds small talk cumbersome and can feel completely alone in a crowd full of people. I cannot really give you a genuine reason as to why I am like this. It just kind of happens to be like that some days. So, let me give you an idea of what it’s like to be an introspective “life of the party.”

It’s like wanting to go out to the club and dance your heart out, but not wanting it enough to put down the novel you’re reading and get out of bed. It’s like making plans with a friend you haven’t seen in a while but secretly hoping they cancel so you don’t have to leave the house. It’s like getting jealous of everyone who goes out and has a good time, but knowing you would’ve rejected the offer. It’s like finally going out for drinks with friends, but spending the next day reading in a coffee shop all by yourself. It’s like telling jokes and stories one night, to not having much to say the next.

Just because we are sometimes quiet, doesn’t mean we don’t have anything to say.
Just because we don’t have anything to say, doesn’t mean we are angry or upset.
Just because we like to be alone, doesn’t mean we don’t get lonely.
Just because we’d rather stay in and watch a movie, doesn’t mean we’re a stick in the mud.
Just because we had fun when we did finally go out, doesn’t mean we want to do it every single night.

I appreciate both parts of me. I appreciate the part of me that can sing at the top of my lungs with my girlfriends without a fear in the world, and I appreciate the part of me that spends hours in a bookstore without the desire to spark up a conversation with anyone at all.