Here are the top eight most annoying things customers say to you if you work at Hobby Lobby.
1. “PIN?! PIN?! What pin?! This is a credit card; it doesn’t have a pin!!”
Things we want to say to customers: “In case you didn’t notice there is a very large note that says ‘PRESS X FOR CREDIT” in all capitals on the machine. Maybe you should try out reading. It’s a very important skill in life.”
Things we actually say: “Oh sorry about that, you’ll just have to push the red X in the bottom left hand corner of the pinpad to run your card as credit.”
2. “Christmas trees?! Why are there Christmas trees out in June??”
Things we want to say to customers: “Yes those are Christmas trees and yes it is June. Stop being annoying.”
Things we actually say: “Yes ma’am, those are Christmas trees. Corporate sent them, so we have to put them on the floor!”
3. “Oh you guys close at 8? Since when? That’s such an inconvenient time to close.”
Things we want to say to customers: “Since the dawn of time. We’ve closed at 8 since forever. We do have lives too. Oh and by the way, we don’t pick the hours- corporate does.”
Things we actually say: “Sorry for the inconvenience ma’am, corporate sets the hours and we must abide by them.”
4. “Oh. Is that not 50% off? How is it not 50% off? There was a sign right next to it. If it’s not, I don’t want it.”
Things we want to say to customers: “Again with the reading. The sign says floral arrangements on sale, so no your potted tree won’t count in the sale.”
Things we actually say: “No that item does not fall under the sale because our sales are item specific. Sorry about that!
5. “How is there no price?? Why are you calling someone to get a price? There is a bar code right here. Just scan it.”
Things we want to say to customers: “Oh there’s a barcode?! Your oblivious self is so helpful with your barcodes we can’t use because we do everything manually, since you managed to miss me type your entire purchase in.”
Things we actually say: “Oh sorry sir, everything at Hobby Lobby stores is manual, so the person I paged will get a price for your item.”
6. “Wait, you’re saying I can’t use the 40% off coupon multiple times?!”
Things we want to say to customers: “People in America really hate reading. The coupon says off of ONE REGULAR priced item, so no you can not use the same coupon on your 15 birthday cards, three tubs of beads, seven t-shirts and 78 cuts of fabric.”
Things we actually say: “Oh sorry sir, our coupon policy is one coupon, per person, per day, so unfortunately that coupon is only valid once.”
7. “You’re trying to tell me this is not on sale. I was just in here Saturday and it was on sale!!”
Things we want to say to customers: “It’s a WEEKLY advertisement. In case you didn’t get that memo, that means sales are different every Monday you come in. Idiot.”
Things we actually say: “Oh, I’m sorry sir. Unfortunately, our sales change every week; it will go on sale again in a couple weeks though.”
8. “That is not the total the frame shop workers told me. You have rung something up wrong. Why is it so much more?!
Things we want to say to customers: “TAX. We live in America, where taxes are ever present and expensive as hell. So yes, the total on the sheet and the total on the screen are different because computers do tax. Stop being annoying.”
Things we actually say: “Oh ma’am, I am sorry. The sheet given to you does not include tax, so unfortunately your total is a little higher than expected.”
To my fellow Hob Lob crew and all those throughout the country: stay strong. People will eventually read the “Press X for Credit sign” and stop asking the workers in the bright blue vests “if they work here”.
