Over this past week, I've been to the pool twice. Each time, I overheard a conversation by young teenage girls that were exactly the same: one entirely normal sized girl tells her friend that she is ashamed of her body. She says she shouldn't even be at the pool. It reminded me of middle school. Here's what I want every middle school girl to know:
You have nothing to be ashamed of.
Your body is your own. Its worth does not come from its equality, and its uselessness doesn't come from its inequality with the models you see in magazines. You matter, even if you aren't “the prettiest girl in your grade," or if you were like me, not even remotely close. There is so much more of you to love. And I know it's hard to be confident when being pretty seems like the only thing you should care about in a world of cameras. But embrace who you are.
You aren't alone.
Every single woman at some point in her life has felt insecure about her body. It's a fact. No one feels entirely comfortable in their skin all the time. We all gain weight from time to time. We all at times dread being the “ugly friend." But I hope knowing that you aren't alone in this provides you some perspective. Talk to the girls and women around you. They will all relate. Believe them, listen, and find confidence in the fact that everyone, even your idols, is human.
You can gain confidence.
I know confidence right now seems like a mythical beast, impossible to obtain.
But it is possible to have confidence in what you look like. Here's how.
Stop comparing.
The first thing to do to gain confidence is to stop comparing yourself to others. It seems impossible, but just like everything else in life, it takes practice and effort.
Don't overanalyze.
Another step to gaining confidence is to step away from the mirror. Stop poking your face and staring, willing your body to change. You are a whole person with so much more to give than what you look like.
Find something to be proud of.
The last thing to gain confidence is to constantly improve in other areas of your life. Be the person you idolize, away from what she looks like. Then work hard to improve yourself to be someone you are proud to know.
Be kind to yourself.
I think every girl should be kinder to one person: themselves. Think deeply about the cliche that you should treat others the way you want to be treated. But how are you treating yourself? Are you treating yourself the way you treat others? Your friends? Would you want your friends to tell you what they were struggling with?
So to the girls at the pools all across America, I hope you can learn to love yourself and have a great summer.
