Being The Insecure Friend Of Your Group Isn't The End Of The World, But It Is Something To Work At

Dealing with insecurities on a daily basis with the people who are supposed to be there for you unconditionally is anything but easy. I have always dealt with insecurities ranging from how I am acting socially, to how I look in an outfit that took me thirty minutes to put together. Insecurities are a part of life and especially growing up.

As an "almost adult" I feel like I have gone through all the phases of being insecure. The body image issues that follow me around and whisper in my ear like a swarm of gnats, the aching in my stomach of never feeling cool, or good enough to be hanging out with the people I am, and my least favorite — feeling like you are annoying while simultaneously being the least liked friend of the group.

Now, in my case obviously, I overthought, and did a play by play of where I "went wrong." I constantly was asking my friends if they were mad at me and felt even more annoying than I had before. This all stemmed from one little rotten thing inside of me, my shrunken shriveled up self-esteem. I never thought I was good enough – not my friends. I never thought I was cool enough – not the people I was hanging out with. I was the problem all along but in a totally different way than I originally thought.

I had to look back on all the key times that I was blaming my friend for not liking me. The conclusion that all the events had in common was I was the one not liking me. I would judge myself for the way I was talking or acting around people. I would compare myself to my friends and feel like the odd one out. It was never my girl gang that would treat me like crap, but my inner monologue that would play on repeat negative thinking. I knew something had to be done to fix this.

So, what did I do you ask?

I blocked out my irrational thinking and started to live in the moment.

Instead of being fixated on what I was doing wrong at the time, I turned my attention to how much fun I was having with my friends. I no longer care(d) about what the people around me think when I do dumb things because they are my friends and are spending time with me because they want to. I started to act authentically around people and watched as my small friend circle grew wider and wider. I would no longer pay attention to how I thought I should act and just let my goofy personality shine through.

At the end of the day, if you are the insecure friend of your group, it's not the end of the world. It is only the beginning of your journey with how you combat your negative thinking process and transfer that energy into improving your relationships, not psychoanalyzing them.