Oh, the dreaded D word -- designated driver. They are the sober friend for the night, who does their very best to make sure their friends don't get kidnapped. Nobody exactly enjoys being the DD, but we all have to do it at some point. While the places you go and the outfits you wear may change, these things are always consistent when you DD.
You will lose your friends.
Drunk girls are notorious for making friends in the bathroom and wandering off to who knows where. There is nothing quite scarier than turning your head for a minute, and your friends completely disappearing. Then, you go on an epic journey through a crowded, dirty college bar. You push through sweaty couples and having your ass unwillingly grinded on, until you finally find them. They're off having a good ole time dancing on top of the bar, and you're basically just hating life. 
You will meet the love of your life.
Chances are, if you're the sober one for the night you aren't exactly on the prowl. You're too busy making sure your friends aren't going to do anything that's going to go viral the next morning. Of course, this is the night when the Ryan Gosling look alike is going to offer to buy you a drink. It's going to slowly kill you to say, "Sorry, I'm the Mom tonight." Just make sure to get a Snapchat together, because when your friends don't believe you in the morning, you'll have photographic proof. 
3. You will comfort a crier.
There is nothing that makes me more uncomfortable than dealing with emotions, especially when they aren't mine. We all know the emotional drunk. Whether she just saw her ex-boyfriend or she thinks you hate her because she borrowed your body wash. They're adorable and annoying at the same time, but you have to know how to deal. Take a deep breath, cut her off, and evacuate the bar, club or party ASAP. 
4. You will be dragged out to the dance floor.
"No, that's OK I really don't -- " Suddenly, you're in between two girls Jersey Turnpiking. You never realized how horrible EDM is until that very moment. From the laser lights to the pounding music, the only thought going through your head is: abort, abort, abort mission. The one positive, is when a creeper is trying to dance with you, all you have to do is yell, "I'm sober." I can guarantee that he will avoid you for the rest of the night.
5. You will be holding back hair.
This is, without a doubt, the worst part about being the designated driver. My only advice to you is close your eyes, keep a fair distance, and pray your friend doesn't get it all over the backseat of your car.
Now, when next weekend comes, you take full advantage of all the people who "owe you."
