The Fourth of July rolls around and all of a sudden we start hearing the word “independence” fly around like it’s going out of the dictionary. “Independence Day”, the “Declaration of Independence”, “Independence Day One” and/or “Independence Day Two” if you are a movie goer, etc. It is time for all of us to recognize not only the independence of this fine country, but also of the females in it, so girls this great independence day be the independent woman you were meant to be, an independent one. (9 forms of independence used in previous paragraph, now 10)
When you wake up in the morning, make your own breakfast, if that means making a gourmet breakfast with all the fresh foods and vegetables you can find, then cook away. If it means pouring yourself a bowl of cereal, pile those Fruity Pebbles high. If donuts is what you are craving than hop in the car (preferably your own, but if YOU drive yourself in someone else’s that still counts) and grab a dozen of the best looking Krispy Kreme’s you can find.
After your well-earned, self-provided breakfast, use your morning to plan out the rest of your day. Remember this is YOUR independence we are talking about so no asking for help, no mom, no dad, no BAE, no Siri, you are an independent woman who can make plans for herself (Google sounds a lot like YOU[gle], so that’s probably fine to use). If you get a bit exhausted from all the decisions you are making feel free to take a nap, the longer the better, wake up when YOU want to wake up.
Now that you have planned your day and your countries day of independence feel free to act on any and all activities. Lunch with friends? No problem, just order for yourself! (I promise the waiter/waitress won’t bite, unless YOU want them to) BBQ in the backyard? Fantastic! Cook for your crew and if you cannot cook, give it a try anyways. (If that fails, as long as YOU are the one who asks for help you are still a fully functioning independent girl) Want to get Fourth of July shwasted? Open that beer/wine/tequila(maybe not, you know the whole ‘America’ theme of the day) bottle all on your own and drink away! (Tip: plenty of videos online to show YOU how to open said bottle with no assistance from others) Firework show at dark? Light up that sky, girl. (If you happen to be a trained firefighter go for the big ones, if not, still go for the big ones because independent women do not do anything half ass)
As your day comes to a close remember to brush your teeth and put your pajamas on all by yourself before turning it in for the night. Lay in bed and think of all you accomplished today all by yourself and dream of all the possibilities to come, like maybe, oh I don’t know, a woman being the president the next time the ‘ol US of A has another Independence Day.
