At The Corner Of 20

At The Corner Of 20

Carrie Bradshaw kinda thing without an excessive million dollar debt in couture.

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I was asked what I saw myself doing at 25, years ago. I recited an endless list of what I wanted to do and be, but I was lacking. I was lacking an individualistic aspect of what I envisioned myself as a mid 20s woman. I saw myself walking down the aisle at 25, having an apartment in the most "it" neighborhood of San Diego, and the list goes on. I had let myself be swooned into what was expected of me by cultural and social aspects. Up until a certain point in my life, I was convinced that was going to be it for me, you know, the 'dream life'. I figured I'd finish my undergrad by 22, I'd most likely be engaged sometime after that, and I'd have a vogue wedding in the vineyards of Mexico.

And that reality was accepted by me.

I came to crash into emotional walls when I began to really think about my future. I began to ask myself what I truly wanted. What did I want? I told myself to forget about everything I had planned and to really shut everything out and be honest with myself. I had always had a thirst for adventure and challenging myself, yet, I had already conformed myself with things that reflected someone who wasn't me. I wrote down a list of things I wanted in the next five years, among them I wrote: not feeling trapped, be independent, not get a major I hated for the sake of quickness, not give up. I made the decision that if I was going to fail or succeed it would be at the result of my own doing because if the future brought good or bad I'd still be doing my own thing. I chose to live. I had to leave many things behind, I had to make people unhappy in choosing my own happiness, and I had to say no when I had always been afraid of causing discomfort. With it, I threw a dice at life and waited for it to land in the place where I would be destined to go. I was afraid, I was nervous, and at points, I felt I was gambling with my life.

I chose medicine over finance because I had never felt so purposeful as I did when I interned and saw I could change lives. I knew I had an advantage over most grads had I gone into finance because I'd go into a guaranteed job, but the moment I tasted the life of a doctor, I knew nothing would give me the almost tear-inducing emotion it gave me.

Fate threw me in the heart of San Francisco, a place, I never even considered living in. Yet, I found myself in a place very distinct from what I knew. I exchanged the lavish downtown apartment future for a small, shoe box style room. At times I wondered if the big city was consuming me at the beginning, but I came out triumphant when I mastered the art of public transportation. To that point I had accomplished many things I had once dreamed of: I was preparing myself for a future I excitedly awaited, and I was becoming independent.

At the corner of 20, my visions had changed. Yes, I have struggled a lot, maybe for the price of becoming independent in a city hundreds of miles from home, without the comfort of living in a home surrounded by a loving family, and with the fact that if I want something I have to work for it. I have cried more than I would like to admit at the fact that I don't get my way most of the time, or that life isn't as easy anymore. I've had people talk about what they think they know about me because I live in another country, people who have bet that I will lose my way and that this is just a phase. You see, I've learned that at the end of the day it is not so much about what they want to believe about me, but rather what I think of me. At the end of the day, the end of a struggle, or days I wish I could sleep more, I remind myself that I am living the life I want to live, and I am proud of myself for that.

I had to make sacrifices that at the moment made me doubt myself. I was going to lose time with my parents, siblings, watch my younger brother's transition into high school, and reduce seeing my best friends from weekly to a few times a year. I had to redirect my current life into not the easy path, but rather the one that would lead me to personal growth. At 25 I no longer saw myself in a white dress, I saw myself in a white coat. My 20s were no longer programmed to becoming another person in a bitter job, conforming for the fear of jumping into the complete unknown. If you ask me now, what I see myself doing in my 20s I'll tell you I have no idea. I have no set schedule for anything, but I am continuing a steady road. Ultimately, that's one of the most important things: fall, run, cry, laugh, whatever you want, but don't stop walking. The destination is there, but the key lies in how you travel the road.

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It's Time To Thank Your First Roommate

Not the horror story kind of roommate, but the one that was truly awesome.
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Nostalgic feelings have recently caused me to reflect back on my freshman year of college. No other year of my life has been filled with more ups and downs, and highs and lows, than freshman year. Throughout all of the madness, one factor remained constant: my roommate. It is time to thank her for everything. These are only a few of the many reasons to do so, and this goes for roommates everywhere.

You have been through all the college "firsts" together.

If you think about it, your roommate was there through all of your first college experiences. The first day of orientation, wishing you luck on the first days of classes, the first night out, etc. That is something that can never be changed. You will always look back and think, "I remember my first day of college with ____."

You were even each other's first real college friend.

You were even each other's first real college friend.

Months before move-in day, you were already planning out what freshman year would be like. Whether you previously knew each other, met on Facebook, or arranged to meet in person before making any decisions, you made your first real college friend during that process.

SEE ALSO: 18 Signs You're A Little Too Comfortable With Your Best Friends

The transition from high school to college is not easy, but somehow you made it out on the other side.

It is no secret that transitioning from high school to college is difficult. No matter how excited you were to get away from home, reality hit at some point. Although some people are better at adjusting than others, at the times when you were not, your roommate was there to listen. You helped each other out, and made it through together.

Late night talks were never more real.

Remember the first week when we stayed up talking until 2:00 a.m. every night? Late night talks will never be more real than they were freshman year. There was so much to plan for, figure out, and hope for. Your roommate talked, listened, laughed, and cried right there with you until one of you stopped responding because sleep took over.

You saw each other at your absolute lowest.

It was difficult being away from home. It hurt watching relationships end and losing touch with your hometown friends. It was stressful trying to get in the swing of college level classes. Despite all of the above, your roommate saw, listened, and strengthened you.

...but you also saw each other during your highest highs.

After seeing each other during the lows, seeing each other during the highs was such a great feeling. Getting involved on campus, making new friends, and succeeding in classes are only a few of the many ways you have watched each other grow.

There was so much time to bond before the stresses of college would later take over.

Freshman year was not "easy," but looking back on it, it was more manageable than you thought at the time. College only gets busier the more the years go on, which means less free time. Freshman year you went to lunch, dinner, the gym, class, events, and everything else possible together. You had the chance to be each other's go-to before it got tough.

No matter what, you always bounced back to being inseparable.

Phases of not talking or seeing each other because of business and stress would come and go. Even though you physically grew apart, you did not grow apart as friends. When one of you was in a funk, as soon as it was over, you bounced right back. You and your freshman roommate were inseparable.

The "remember that one time, freshman year..." stories never end.

Looking back on freshman year together is one of my favorite times. There are so many stories you have made, which at the time seemed so small, that bring the biggest laughs today. You will always have those stories to share together.

SEE ALSO: 15 Things You Say To Your Roommates Before Going Out

The unspoken rule that no matter how far apart you grow, you are always there for each other.

It is sad to look back and realize everything that has changed since your freshman year days. You started college with a clean slate, and all you really had was each other. Even though you went separate ways, there is an unspoken rule that you are still always there for each other.

Your old dorm room is now filled with two freshmen trying to make it through their first year. They will never know all the memories that you made in that room, and how it used to be your home. You can only hope that they will have the relationship you had together to reflect on in the years to come.


Cover Image Credit: Katie Ward

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21 Quotes From Twyla Tharp's 'The Creative Habit' That Will Fuel Your Artistic Self

Use your half-baked ideas for good!

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Twyla Tharp is a master dancer and choreographer. She's worked with the world's most prestigious artists to create works that will withstand the test of time. She published her book "The Creative Habit" as a viewing window for seeing into her creative process. Tharp offers both hard truths and gently encouraging words for both serious artists and everyday people just trying to expand their circle of knowledge about art. I compiled some quotations from the book that were profound, useful and to-the-point when it comes to examining artistic development.

1. "Creativity is not just for artists. It's for businesspeople looking for a new way to close a sale; it's for engineers trying to solve a problem; it's for parents who want their children to see the world in more than one way."

You get some creativity! YOU get some creativity! Everyone gets creativity!

2. "If art is the bridge between what you see in your mind and what the world sees, then skill is how you build that bridge."

3. "Everything that happens in my day is a transaction between the external world and my internal world. Everything is raw material. Everything is relevant. Everything is usable. Everything feeds into my creativity."

4. "In the end, there is no one ideal condition for creativity. What works for one person is useless for another. The only criterion is this: Make it easy on yourself. Find a working environment where the prospect of wrestling with your muse doesn't scare you, doesn't shut you down."

5. "Someone has done it before? Honey, it's all been done before. Nothing's really original. Not Homer or Shakespeare and certainly not you. Get over yourself."

Ouch. Toes stepped on.

6. "Metaphor is the lifeblood of all art, if it is not art itself. Metaphor is our vocabulary for connecting what we're experiencing to what we have experienced before."

"It's *literally* like this..."

7. "...get busy copying. Traveling the paths of greatness, even in someone else's footprints, is a vital means to acquiring skill."

Choose your muse wisely!

8. "You can't just dance or paint or write or sculpt. Those are just verbs. You need a tangible idea to get you going. The idea, however minuscule, is what turns the verb into a noun..."

9. "When you're in scratching mode, the tiniest microcell of an idea will get you going. Musicians know this because compositions rarely come to them whole and complete. They call their morsels of inspiration lines or riffs or hooks or licks. That's what they look for when they scratch for an idea."

You know you look crazy, but press on, baby ideas in hand!

10. "It doesn't matter if it's a book, magazine, newspaper, billboard, instruction manual, or cereal box -- reading generates ideas, because you're literally filling your head with ideas and letting your imagination filter them for something useful."

"Alexa, play the Reading Rainbow theme song."

11. "...there's a fine line between good planning and overplanning. You never want the planning to inhibit the natural evolution of your work."

Screw this global need for instant information. You gotta just let things run their course sometimes.

12. "Habitually creative people are, in E.B. white's phrase, 'prepared to be lucky.' You don't get lucky without preparation, and there's no sense in being prepared if you're not open to the possibility of a glorious accident. In creative endeavors luck is a skill."

Twyla Tharp is really just a more Type A version of Bob Ross.

13. "I know it's important to be prepared, but at the start of the process this type of perfectionism is more like procrastination. You've got to get in there and do."

14. "You're only kidding yourself if you put creativity before craft. Craft is where our best efforts begin. You should never worry that rote exercises aimed at developing skills will suffocate creativity."

15. "That's what the great ones do: They shelve the perfected skills for a while and concentrate on their imperfections."

16. "Without passion, all the skill in the world won't lift you above your craft. Without skill, all the passion in the world will leave you eager but floundering. combining the two is the essence of the creative life."

17. "My heroes are those who've prevailed over far greater losses than I've ever had to face."

18. "Part of the excitement of creativity is the headlong rush into action when we latch onto a new idea. Yet, in the excitement, we often forget to apply pressure to the idea, poke it, challenge it, push it around, see if it stands up. Without that challenge, you never know how far astray your assumptions may have taken you."

19. "...there's a lesson here about finding your groove. Yes, you can find it via a breakthrough in your craft. But you can also find it in other means -- in congenial material, in a perfect partner, in a favorite character or comfortable subject matter."

20. "A math professor at Williams College bases ten percent of his students' grades on failure. Mathematics is all about trying out new ideas -- new formulas, theorems, approaches -- and knowing that the vast majority of them will be dad ends. To encourage his students not to be afraid of testing their quirkiest ideas in public, he rewards rather than punishes them for coming up with wrong answers."

This approach would've been so helpful.

21. "I began as a dancer, and in those days of pain and shock I went back to where I started. Creating dance is the thing I know best. It is how I recognize myself. Even in the worst of times, such habits sustain, protect, and, in the most unlikely way, lift us up."

Take Twyla's knowledge and have fun exploring creativity in your personal life!

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