We Never Felt So Alive
To be at ease in this ever-changing and sometimes chaotic world can be difficult at times, and I admire those who are able to go with the flow of things. Personally, being someone who has always been easily stressed made it hard to be mellow and relaxed like some of my peers. I was drawn to things I could not have and longed to be the social butterfly with which everyone wanted to spend their time. I found it challenging to find balance in my life, but that all changed in one moment that I’ll never forget.
As a sophomore in college I had taken a trip to Idaho with a few a few friends as a getaway from the stress of classes and midterms that were quickly approaching. We decided to make a stop at Silverwood theme park, which was ‘Scarywood’ themed for Halloween around this time. It’s about a five-hour drive each way, and if I’m going to be completely honest, the road trip is always my favorite part of any trip. What’s not to love about miles of winding, Montana highways, singing along to every song that comes on and arguing with your friends about who gets to play the next one? Regardless, the theme park was a lot of fun, yet terrifying at the same time; haunted houses, backwards roller-coasters, and enough people in clown costumes to make me hide under my covers until my mid-thirties.
The moment that has had such an impact on my life came, not during the excitement of cheers as we arrived at the top of the tallest roller-coaster, nor did it occur when the scary man in a costume chased us around the park; something really special happened when we were leaving that night after it closed. We were driving back to my friend’s aunt’s house where we were staying during our time in Idaho, radio turned all the way up and the driver of the vehicle wouldn’t admit he was lost, but nobody cared if we were or not. The two in the front seat were laughing about embarrassing memories and the two of us in the back were enjoying the cool night breeze through the window, and that’s when it happened. My friend that was riding in the back seat with me leaned over, so only I could hear her, and she whispered “have you ever felt so content in one moment that you think, I could die right now and I wouldn’t even be upset because I’m so content with how my life is at this very second, that I would be okay with this memory being my last.”
The combination of butterflies I still had left in my stomach from the twists and turns of wooden coaster rides, and the words coming from my friend’s mouth, made me completely stop and take everything in. She was absolutely right. I’ve always spent so much time looking at the bigger picture and constantly worrying about tomorrow, rather than appreciating small moments like this one. I immediately copied her beautifully spoken words into the ‘notes’ section on my phone, where I now store it as a wonderful memory, and a reminder to take things slow and live in the moment, because that’s all we are promised.
