Recently, boldness has been a theme in my life. First, a dear friend handed me her necklace; “It says bold, and it’ll remind you of how to live every day as you embark on a new journey.” Then, over Thanksgiving-staffing a conference and being reminded that I am, after all, known. And most recently, finally finding the inner strength to take the advice my closest friends have tried to tell me for years- “Jenn, don’t be afraid to speak your mind. Don’t be afraid to stray from the status quo. The worst consequence is a lingering ‘what if.’”
I’ve always been the one to know this advice, but never to take it. So finally acting on it, and being intentional about doing so, has been a major paradigm shift. And of course, me being me, this most valuable of lessons always circle back to relationships. Because no matter what people say, I, you, we can’t do it alone. If your friends truly care- which they do- and your voice really matters- which it does- then taking risks is worth it. But in order to grow, you have to have people who allow you to do so.
You need friends who will lift you up.
Being insecure in relationships is natural at times, but your people should never be the ones actively making you feel that way.
You need friends who won't ask you to pay them back.
I'm not talking about money- we're college kids, every penny counts, okay?? I mean the friends who will stand by your side and let you make it all about you, with no expectation of return or frustration with your presence. These friends are true, and they’ll stick around. They know you’ll return the favor many times over.
You need friends who know when to tell you the cold, hard truth.
Of course, a listening ear is a valuable thing. That means nothing, though, if they are only a sounding board and never an advisor. Good friends will support you unconditionally, but the best of friends will tell you what you need to hear, even when you (really really) don’t want to hear it.
You need friends who love without barriers.
They see your flaws- oh, they see them. But they also see the good in you when you forget to see it yourself. They love you even when you’re complicated, annoying, or, God forbid, accidentally hurtful. They love you across state borders and busy weeks where you don’t talk. They love you, and in doing so, they give you permission to turn your fears into adventures.
Take the risk. Apply for that internship, and give yourself permission to move on if you don’t get it. Tell that person what’s on your heart. Dance for the joy of it, and don’t worry about if you look dumb. If there aren’t people there for you, find new ones. If your major doesn’t make you happy, change it. Be bold, and trust that you won’t be alone when you are.
If your life is authentic, it’ll pay off. And if it isn’t, well, why the hell not?
