In Kate Chopin's acclaimed 1899 novel The Awakening, she talks about how Edna, the fierce main character, is not a "mother woman." Basically, these were women who doted on their children and were essentially obsessed with their motherly roles. When I was reading it, I could not help but think: am I meant to be a mother? (Bonus points if you read that in Carrie Bradshaw's voice.)
I have known for a very long time that kids were not on the radar for me. What has been part of the internal struggle is dealing with what society thinks. Honestly, at this rate, screw it. I am definitely not the "typical woman" and I am far from your "typical" southern woman. I have been rebelling against social norms since before I could remember, and it has taken me a long time to be proud of it.
Some people are meant to be mothers, and I know so many women that make amazing ones. That's not to say that I hate the idea of motherhood as a whole, I just don't think that I am the right woman to do it. People have said to me, "your opinions will change when you meet the right one," among other things. While I believe in fate and finding "the one," I also believe in looking at reality and my reality does not have kids in it.
I realized, especially in college, that I want to live what many would consider a selfish life. I want to travel, establish myself as a teacher, politician, or activist. If I am lucky, I will get to be a combination of both. I know that children would put a significantly different route on the GPS if I did that. It sounds sad, but we are living an age where women are fighting for fundamental rights. Now, we need a leader, and I am called to do so.
With my anti children stance, the people reading this may ask "but like, every woman wants to be a mother." Actually, we can look directly at Hollywood for multiple examples of that. I know, Hollywood is far from reality. Donald Trump would refer to many of the stars as fake, like Fake News. However, celebrities like Chelsea Handler are open about not wishing to fill that role. It's honestly inspiring to me that in a world where people can be so judgmental about so many things, that she chooses to speak out.
Like I said previously, I am overjoyed that many women choose to experience their personal joy as mothers. I know and hope that women who do choose this path choose it for a reason. As a feminist, I choose to respect all women and what they do and believe, and I am not trying to judge other women. For me, it is about my beliefs and my reality. Needless to say, I am proud of it. Although I will not give my parents grandchildren, I will give them and the world a lot to be proud of.
