Life often has very jarring ways of reminding us just how very valuable it is. We get so lost in our daily routines and the mundane tasks at hand that most of us forget to look at the bigger picture often enough. Most people don't go about their daily tasks plagued with thoughts of what they are going to do and how they are going to live should they happen to die within the next few days. Especially for those of us that are younger, death seems to be something so far off and out of reach that we scarcely ever stop to think about it. Why worry about dying when there is so much to do, and so much time? The average life expectancy in current American society has reached just below 79, while many Asian and European countries are well past 83. It is predicted that the current Millennial generation will have an even longer life expectancy. So if we are expected to live for so much longer, and have all of that time to truly live and enjoy life, why do I bring this up?
On this past Saturday night, like many others when I was staying up late, playing video games with friends and chatting over Discord, I received a piece of news that I still haven't fully grasped. One of my friends who was in the call with me received a phone call from another friend. She asked if he was talking to our other friend, who was currently in the Discord call with us. The two began talking back and forth for a short while, with the opening question from the friend who had called being, "Did Sheng die?" My stomach dropped out of my body and my first reaction was utter denial. I don't have the best hearing, and so I tried convincing myself that I had heard wrong. Then my friend who was asked the question answered. I still didn't believe that I was hearing correctly. I asked for clarification and I could hear my voice breaking. When I got confirmation, I just sat in stunned silence for God-knows-how-long until one of my friends on Discord asked me a question about the video game we were currently playing. We went through the whole game, my mind on Sheng the entire time. How can this be happening? What the hell happened? This is a joke. This can't be a joke. I am never gonna get to talk to him again. I'll never see him at Lincoln again. I'll never play basketball with him again.I finished the game and told my friends goodnight, earlier than usual, and headed straight to bed where I laid in stunned silence until I fell asleep.
I had known Sheng since my sophomore year of high school. I saw him on a weekly basis for two whole years before he stopped playing basketball regularly. Then, I still saw him at least once a month, hanging out around the basketball park, grabbing food with friends, and joking around. He was a friendly and joking guy, always making others laugh or smile. You never left an interaction with him feeling worse than before you entered into it. He was a kind and good-hearted guy. He had a small group of very close friends who cherished him greatly and spent most of their free time together. They called each other brothers because, really, that's what they were, regardless of blood ties or lack thereof. It was always great to see the group of them, laughing and joking around on the basketball courts. I learned from them that family isn't always something you are born into. The relationships you build and cherish can be the best and most rewarding things in your life.
With those strong ties and wonderful relationships, however, can come a lot of pain. Usually that pain comes in variations of things like fights, or family matters, or love life quarrels. That's at least what I've seen as a young adult. That is, up until now. Just like how it is portrayed in many movies and TV series, it is usually the ones closest to you that can cause you the most pain. That is why, when someone so young and so healthy passes away, it comes as a slap to the face of those that love them dearly. You never see a death, like the one of a young man just turning 21, coming. It is unpredictable, horrifying and beyond saddening for all of those who are a part of his community.
So in light of these recent events, and the many conversations I have had regarding them in the past week or so, I hope that I can leave you, my readers, with this; in a world where we are caught up in social interactions that can be both very personal and very detached, do not let social norms and personal fears keep you from being a good friend. The people who come into your life who you learn to love, and who grow to love you back are some of the most consistent sources of joy in a young persons' life, and far too many of us take that for granted. Being able to enjoy the most mundane of activities with people you love platonically is a simple piece of beauty in everyday life that I myself take for granted a little too often. You never know when a person who sits in your car every other week, or who you grab a bite to eat with now and then may no longer be with us.
As the wise Hubert Humphrey once said, "The greatest gift of life is friendship, and I have received it." Thank you, Sheng, for being a friend.
