Methodology: I determine some of the most interesting storylines heading into the 2015-2016 season by using the following step-by-step formula. First, I determine the best storylines that could conceivably happen. This is where storylines like "The Lakers Will Lead the League in Defensive Efficiency" are thrown out the window. Next, I deem what storylines have the potential to be the "coolest." This is a largely subjective process using an exhaustive protocol (part of this protocol involves weeding out any LeBron, Durant, or Curry storylines). This also includes throwing out storylines like "James Harden Will Lead League With (outrageous amount) Free Throws a Game." Lastly, I assign a "Whose Line is it Anyway-esque" meaningless point total to the stories. The storylines below are a few of the best we have to look forward to as the NBA season gets underway at the end of this month. So in no particular order-
The storyline involving Knicks head coach Derek Fisher, dating former “Basketball Wives” star and ex-wife of Matt Barnes, Gloria Govan, gets 1,000 points. Fisher then getting beat up by Barnes, his former teammate, earns it another 1,000 points.
No brainer here. I'm looking forward to Jan. 16 when Fisher and his Knicks face Barnes and the Grizzlies. This obviously falls short of the Delonte West and Gloria James saga, but enjoyable nonetheless.
"Matt Barnes drove 95 miles to ‘beat the sh-t’ out of Derek Fisher" via NY Post
Any storyline involving Anthony Davis gets 400 points. If the storyline incorporates anything about Davis leading the league in three pointers, dunks, alley-oops, rebounds, or fan’s popcorn sent flying by blocked shot, receives an extra 200 points.
The 6-foot-10-inch forward for the Pelicans finished with a 27.8 usage percentage last season. In his first preseason action within Alvin Gentry's system, Davis's usage percentage was 43.5. Keep in mind Russell Westbrook led the league last year with 38.4 percent. He also worked hard this offseason to add a three point shot to his arsenal, and went 2/3 from beyond the arc against the Hawks in his second preseason game. While his player efficiency rating may take a hit, Anthony Davis looks poised to take another step.
"True Bromance: How Tyreke, Jrue, and Gentry Can Help Anthony Davis" via Grantland
Any storyline involving Mario Hezonja receives 1,050 points.
With upgraded coaching (Scott Skiles), and the continued maturation of Victor Oladipo, Elfrid Payton, and Aaron Gordon, the Magic appear to be a fun landing spot for the 20 year old Croatian. The fifth pick in the 2015 draft projects him to be one of the most exciting young rookies in the league. Hezonja has the confidence of Kobe Bryant and the shooting abilities of Klay Thompson, which has the potential for greatness or total disaster if his play doesn’t mirror his confidence. The six foot, eight inch forward displayed his cockiness when he was quoted saying, “Respect? No I never had respect for anybody on the basketball court.. Whether it’s a veteran or a young player standing in front of me, I always have the same goal. I want to run over everybody.” Sounds nice, Mario. Side note: The Magic will be on my League Pass feed as much as possible this season.
"Mario Hezonja is the cockiest NBA Draft prospect in years" via SB Nation
Any possible storylines that result in Shea Serrano complaining about James Harden‘s “extend-o arm” move gets 50 points. Storylines involving how many times Kawhi Leonard does ‘Kawhi things’ prompting a Shea Serrano love-tweet, receives 35 points. A storyline incorporating both earns 100 points.
First of all, @SheaSerrano is a high-quality Twitter follow. Maybe some day he will be my friend. The writer for Grantland coined (or at least made popular) the phrase "extend-o arms" to describe the move James Harden makes to get to the line more than any other player in the league. Harden shot 824 free throws last season, enough for 170 more than the next closest player (Russell Westbrook). This singular move (along with his player's dominance over me in 2015) is why I admire anybody who loves to hate him like I do. This leads me to Kawhi Leonard. The 2015 Defensive Player of the Year was magnificent at the end of the regular season for the Spurs, although he struggled in the playoffs. Kawhi will continue to shine this season.
"@sheaserrano: SPURS ARE PLAYING THE ROCKETS ON CHRISTMAS DAY--MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ME--I CAN'T WAIT TO WATCH KAWHI BAH HUMBUG ALL OVER JAMES HARDEN'S CHEST."
"The Inadequate Villain: James Harden Is Ruining the Playoffs" via Grantland
"How Kawhi Leonard Can Move into MVP Discussion During 2015-2016 Season" via Bleacher Report
Storylines involving any of the following coaches gaining my wholehearted trust to date my grandma; Gregg Popovich, Alvin Gentry, or Kevin McHale (because of how hilariously tall and goofy he looks), earns 9 points.
My grandma is a wonderful, kind and loving lady. As long as McHale wears a suit and stays tall, he can date my grandma. He also has to figure out a way to keep James Harden, Dwight Howard, and newly acquired Ty Lawson, happy. With the new addition, the Rocket's front-court should be regarded as one of the best in the league. Houston looks like they have a great opportunity to take the quintessential next step. Coach Pop, with his already grandpa-like-figure-friendly-nickname can date my grandma too. Popovich, along with Phil Jackson (can’t date my grandma), are the two most successful coaches of my generation. Pop looks to take a Spurs team back to the finals after a disappointing campaign last year that saw the Spurs ousted in the first round. With the additions of David West and LaMarcus Aldridge, the Spurs should have no issue making it further this season. Alvin Gentry, because of the promise he made to Anthony Davis (and to me as a Pelicans fan), to make it to the finals, can also date my grandma. So far, Gentry has posted the best argument for the opportunity to go steady with my grandma. Gentry can help his cause by keeping the pace fast in New Orleans. After watching the Pelicans fire 103 shots in their opening matchup against the Pacers, I look forward to seeing a much more exciting brand of basketball in New Orleans.
"Simple Do’s and Don’ts for interviewing San Antonio Spurs Coach Gregg Popovich" via Awful Announcing
"Reinventing the New Orleans Pelicans" via SI
Obviously there are some other storylines heading into the season didn't include, so here are few more:
KD returning: "Well-rested Durant more than happy to get back to work" via NBA
LeBron’s second year in Cleveland: "LeBron James believes he won’t have to carry the load for the Cavs" via ESPN
Curry’s encore: "How Stephen Curry works on slowing the game down" via ESPN
The dumpster fire in Sacramento: "The Sacramento Kings are crazier than ever" via SBNation
As an NBA fan and League Pass holder, starting Oct. 27, my nights will be full. Also, somebody tell Shea I want to be his friend.
