Relationships are hard. Probably one of the hardest things about life.
A common misconception is that relationships should be easy. I partly agree with this, because yes, loving someone so much should make wanting to make them happy a priority and should be easy because it is a no brainer.
But some relationships take work. They're not perfect. But the thing no one seems to understand is that a relationship is about compromise. It is about team work. It's about meeting in the middle. It's about two people putting in the same amount of work. A relationship requires the same amount of effort from both people.
If you are acting a specific way that upsets your significant other and they approach you about it, change it. Try to fix it. If you love them, try to fix the problem.
Everything about a relationship is a ripple effect. If you don't make your partner feel appreciated, show them the right kind of affection, or give them proper attention, there will be repercussions. Your partner will be irritable. They aren't going to want to have sex if they don't feel like their partner is invested in them or truly cares about them. They'll become depressed and anxious.
Make them feel appreciated. If they're constantly running around going to school/work/volunteering, etc. clean around the house for them. They'll be so happy that they don't have to come home to do more work. Take interest in their passions. Ask them questions. But don't just ask questions just to appear interested; BE INTERESTED.
Showing your partner the right kind of affection is crucial. Kiss them on the forehead. Welcome them home with a hug and a kiss. Get up from what you're doing and let it be known that you missed when they were gone. If they are upset, hold them, let them know that everything is going to be okay.
Paying attention to a partner is probably the most important thing about a relationship.
If you aren't giving your significant other proper attention, they are going to be unhappy. Tell them they look beautiful. Comment on what they are wearing. Actually listen to them when they talk. Learn how to read their body language.
For the most part, relationships fail because one person fails to change, or fails to put as much energy into the relationship as the other. Sometimes love just isn't enough.
You can't change a person. So here is my next point.
Stop giving everything up for this person. Stop jumping over oceans for them if they can't even step over a puddle for you.
Hang out with BOTH of your friends. Spend time with BOTH sides of the families. Do things that BOTH of you like to do. But also, make time to do the things that your significant other loves. Not just what one of you loves, what your SIGNIFICANT OTHER loves as well.
Try new things together.
It's important to have alone time, but it's also important to do things important together so your bond can grow deeper.
If your significant other doesn't ever want to do what you want to do, that's a problem.
If you're not getting the attention you deserve, that's a problem.
If you're only hanging out with one set of friends and not the other, that's a problem.
There are two people in a relationship. For one half of the couple to give up so much of their lives for the other when they aren't met in the middle is unfair. It's not just unfair. It's cruel.
Relationships are hard. But they take two people. And when two people put in the work it can be beautiful. It can be full of love. But only when both of the people are treated with the same respect.
Know your worth. It is hard to love someone so much more than they love you. Don't give up everything for someone who can just so easily leave; because when they do, you will be left with nothing.
But there is someone out there who will meet you in the middle; Who will love you so much that YOUR friends, dreams, passions and life matter too.
It takes two to make a beautiful relationship. Teamwork is essential. You can't expect good results if only one person is making sacrifices.
