Recently, I was talking to a friend about our middle and high school years and all of the awkwardness that ensued during that time. Most of the conversation revolved around stupid decisions we made with our friends or embarrassing things we did to try to impress people we liked, but one part of my conversation got us thinking. I made a joke about missing out on the cucumber (or banana) and condom health class experience, when my friend told me that their health class didn’t teach them much of anything. The overarching theme of his — and many — sexual education courses, is abstinence-based.

The problem is that doesn’t work, not to mention, misses out on a multitude of issues, complications, and understandings of the human body, sex, and sexual relationships.

Getting rid of the stigma around sex is half the battle. We’ve been teaching teens for decades that sex is a dirty, sinful, and immoral act that can only be considered okay under the cover of marriage. In reality, sex is a completely natural and healthy aspect of human life and connection. Its demonization is due, in large part, to religion making its way into our schools’ curriculums. Ideologies and values regarding sex should be explained at home, while schools should deliver only objective and educational sex information. And even among the most religious, very few people remain virgins until marriage, so why not let people know what they’re getting into?

Studies show that not only do abstinence-only sex ed programs prove ineffective, they actually increase the number of teenage pregnancies, STDs and STIs. The idea that talking about sex will cause our youth to have sex is a ridiculous argument. They’re having sex anyway, so it’s our responsibility to make sure it’s a safe, consensual, and respectful experience for all parties involved.

Better sexual education is also vital to the LGBTQ community. I had been exposed to sex education almost every year of school since 5th grade. The only kind of sex we ever covered was heterosexual, penetrative vaginal sex. Once you step outside of the awkward high school health class, you realize there are so many different kinds of sex, different sexual partners, and different practices that need to be taken into consideration when participating in various types of intercourse. LGBTQ students are normally left out of the loop because their definition of sex isn’t limited to just a penis or a vagina. This can lead to dangerous sexual practices down the road, or in many cases, just a lack of understanding on how sex works outside of heterosexual situations.

Higher-quality sex education is better for everyone because the vast majority of people in their lives will have sex (shocking, yes I know). It’s our jobs as parents, teachers, citizens, and a sexual reproductive species to make sure our youth is education on all aspects of safe sex, including but not limited to: pregnancy and STD/STI prevention, sexual abuse and violence, types of sex, types of sexual partners, the emotions of sex and the examination and maintenance of our genitalia.

All right guys, let’s get to it. Well, you know, not it.