Imagine yourself back in sixth or seventh grade. Maybe you were super popular and had loads of besties. Or, maybe you just had a small group of friends. Either way, chances are you had one friend who stood out above the rest, who you considered your best best friend.
Now imagine yourself a few years later. You’re a sophomore or junior in high school. You’ve still got friends, but the faces have changed. Some of your buddies moved away, but some of them just faded away. Your old best friend – your twin, your BFF, your main confidant – isn’t around as much anymore. Instead, you find yourself getting closer and closer to a different pal.
Next comes the big kahuna: college. You move away, you meet your roommate, your classmates, your new sorority sisters or fraternity brothers. The phone calls to your BFF get shorter and shorter. You start hanging out with your boyfriend or girlfriend, your sisters, and your new college best friend, who stays up with you until one a.m. cramming for those awful bio exams.
While it can be really difficult to let go of friendships, one finds that sometimes letting go is necessary. The truth is that people change, especially during high school and college. We’re constantly learning what kind of people we want to hang out with, and we’re definitely still learning what kind of people we are. Sometimes, the person you become isn’t compatible with the person your best friend becomes.
Even if you drift away from your friends naturally, without any nasty fights or hurt feelings, it can still be really tough. When you’re used to having that buddy who’s always willing to bring you ice cream when you’re sad, or to laugh hysterically when you’re slap happy, it’s hard when she disappears. All of a sudden, you look around, and your support system has changed. Everything has changed.
Here's why this is a good thing: there’s something awesome just around the corner. If you suddenly find yourself swimming in the sea of Best Friendlessness: just reach out. There’s got to be someone else trying to find the shore.
Sometimes, our best friends are the people we least expected to befriend. They’re the people you come to love, not only because they showed up at the right moment, but because the universe presented you with exactly who you needed. You just mesh together, and before you know it, you’re borrowing her books and stealing her clothes.
Just make sure that you don’t hold on too tightly to those old friendships. If someone’s drifting, let her or him drift. He or she is on a different path, and you’re both meant to meet different people. That doesn’t mean that your past friendship is less valuable now; indeed, it’s the opposite. Your best friend came into your life, taught you a lot, and moved on. So cherish the ones who are still around. They’re there for a reason.
