her·sto·ry ˈhərstərē/
noun
- history viewed from a female or specifically feminist perspective.
April 9, 2016, was an incredibly special day for me, because I learned more about my grandmother on my father's side (affectionately known as 'Mum Mum') than anyone else, she told me. It was a rainy day at my grandmother's house, and I sat next to her on the sofa. Engulfed in a fluffy blanket, her radiating warmth, as well as a hot cup of lemon tea, content was an understatement. Mum Mum's presence brought me a sense of comfort, joy, and strength. She lifts her laptop softly, and beckons to show me a word document.
"So, it's not finished yet, but I started writing about my life so far; my personal herstory. It talks of my childhood, young adult experiences, and will eventually lead to now, but I wanted to write down everything I can remember in the present before I get too old!" she laughs heartily, flashing a beautiful smile. I took the laptop to read on about anecdotes from her childhood, and my mouth gaped at how much we had in common, from the simple things such as writing, to personal struggles we both had growing up living under strict and oppressive fathers.
Being the crybaby that I am, I sobbed after I was done reading, thanking her so much for sharing her piece so far with me. I was especially touched, because I was the only one who knew of such things, and I was truly honored that she chose me.
Mum Mum along with a plethora of women on both sides of my family, have given me strong and fearless examples of black womanhood, and have taught me to rise above my circumstances with grace and dignity. Their stories, their magic, and their identities must be preserved at all costs, as do yours! Their "herstories" are more than needed for a little black girl (like myself at one point) who doesn't have a single clue about who she is, her greatness, or the greatness that she was manifested from. They are needed for a girl who is lost, doesn't recognize her beauty and needs to know that she was never alone from the start. I know that my mother has done that for me in the most amazing ways possible, and I'd be no where near where I am today without without her inspiration, companionship and guidance.
An excellent example of a herstory depiction is Beyonce's "Lemonade" visual album. One of the most important lessons that it has to offer, is to draw upon the strength of the black women in our lives that have come before us, especially within our families. Beyonce's film makes references to her mother’s experiences with her father and late husband, as well as contained a cameo featuring her grandmother on her 90th birthday speaking of overcoming her life’s obstacles, and making the best of what it gave her (I totally cried at that part, if we're being honest). Now, as baby Blue grows older, she will be able to see how her mother healed and rose above one of, if not her biggest heartbreak beautifully, whilst inspiring women worldwide to do the same.
Do you honestly think your grandmother, mother, auntie-sista-cousin hasn’t felt pain? Been where you’ve been? Oh, honey! I know some melanated goddess within your own family, or even a close friend, has seen the storm and the rain. There's someone around you who knows a thing or two about break ups, heartache, or has been disrespected at some point by a man she has loved, whether it be a lover or a family member. Learn from that. Lead your life by her gracious and victorious example. She is you, and you are her. You are one in the same.
Now, I'm definitely not saying that you need to go to the ends of the world to find a million-dollar film crew, and create technically an hour long music video. However, I definitely encourage you to document your legacy. Include your joys, your pain, your victories and everyone you love, and how they shaped you into the person you are today. Take pictures and start a photo project. Create a short film about you and the women closest to your heart. It could be as simple as keeping a journal to give to your children one day, so they can see what an amazing mother they have, and how she let nothing and no one stop her. No matter how you choose, live freely, live triumphantly, live unapologetically, and let the whole world know it. Your herstory matters, and never be afraid to speak your truth.
Love and light,
Maya
