I apologize for just about everything. I apologize when someone bumps into me. I apologize when someone calls me the wrong name. I apologize when nagging someone to complete a task they should have already done.I apologize when rejecting someone. I apologize when telling people how I feel or what I think.I apologize when asking for help or advice. I apologize when being consoled. .I apologize for having emotions. I apologize for not having emotions. I apologize for apologizing.
I have actually apologized my way into feeling sorry for just simply being the person I am. (If you’re tired of hearing any variation of the word “apologize” already in this article,imagine how I feel on a day-to-day basis).
After all this time, I have (finally) come to the realization that this habit of over-apologizing is quite ridiculous. I have realized that I am tired of being sorry. To be frank, I am annoyed at myself every time the words "I'm sorry" escape my mouth based on habit. Each “I’m sorry, but…” only invalidates my following statement. Apologizing for my feelings invalidates what I am feeling. Apologizing for my personality only hurts my self-esteem. Apologizing as often as I do, or those with this habit do, is not showing kindness to myself.
Apologizing in this matter invalidates me. The only person I actually owe an apology to for most of the things I find myself apologizing for, is myself. I am sorry that I have allowed myself to feel apologetic for silly things, needing things and simply the person I am. Such things are not worthy of an apology.
E.M Foster, in the novel A Room with a View, sums up this realization in a much more poetic way than I am capable of:
"We cast a shadow on something wherever we stand and it is no good moving place to place to save things; because the shadow always follows. Choose a place where you won’t do very much harm, and stand in it for all you are worth, facing the sunshine."
Do not constantly apologize for the shadows you may cause. This does not mean we should all run around being unapologetic jerks, but simply existing is not worth apologizing for. Every thing we do, everything we say, will have some sort of effect, whether it be small or large. But that does not mean we should apologize for it. The fact is, the world has enough people who will attempt to belittle us at every turn. There is already enough people working against us, invalidating us, and bullying us. Do not give in to becoming one of those people. Live unapologetically.
