Love is the most important and complicated word in the English language. In fact, it means something different to every single person; there are five "languages" in which people define, give, and receive love. This theory by Gary Chapman, a relationship and marriage therapist, is said to be the key to fulfilling relationships. My parents have been married for almost 30 years, embodying relationship goals- they have taught my three siblings and me how to understand the needs of people we care about and to reiterate that they are valued to us. If you want more fulfilling interpersonal relationships, you need to know about the love languages!
Defining The 5 Love Languages
The five love languages are quality time, physical touch, acts of service, words of affirmation, and receiving gifts.
Quality time means that you feel the most loved when somebody gives you their undivided, uninterrupted attention.
Physical touch is love expressed through touch such as hugging or hand-holding.
People can also feel the most loved through small, but meaningful, acts of service such as taking out the trash or doing something else that is greatly appreciated.
Words of affirmation are verbal compliments and encouragement that make people feel valued.
Last but not least, the receiver of gifts feels loved based on the thought and effort behind a gift, not monetary value.
So why should you know these? Here are 5 reasons.
1. You Can Eliminate Time Spent Searching For A Partner.
By knowing exactly what you need to feel loved, you don't spend so much time searching for it in another person. You begin to have heightened expectations out of your relationship, and will not settle for less. Imagine knowing exactly what you need from another person in order to have a fulfilling relationship- that is what knowing your love language is.
2. You Are Able to Make Better Sense of Past Relationships.
So, you found out that your love language is a verbal affirmation, and your ex had neglected to express their feelings for you through uplifting words and compliments. You can infer that this is a pretty big reason that you guys didn't work out- you simply expressed love in different ways.
3. Knowing This Information Improves Your Interpersonal Communication Skills.
Once you understand why you're fighting, it becomes a lot easier to come up with a solution together, which will strengthen your relationships.
4. You Can Train Yourself To Be Fluent In The Language Of Those You Care About.
Once you familiarize yourself with the five love languages, you begin to think about how the people around you feel loved and valued. If they don't take the test, it is likely that you can figure out what their love language is through mere observation and good ole' trial and error.
5. Don't You Want To Go Through Life Happy?
If nothing else, knowing how the love languages work and applying them in all of your relationships enables stronger, more meaningful human connection and better relationships. It is so freeing once you know that you are getting the most out of your relationships and that you are loving people the way they need to be loved.
When it comes to feeling loved, you are never asking for too much, but you might be asking the wrong person.
Take the test at (www.5lovelanguages.com) and surround yourself with people that want you to feel loved.
