18... Some much comes to mind when I think of that number: legally an adult, can go buy lotto tickets, can go gambling, get into 18+ clubs, but legally being an adult is the scaring one. I turn 18 tomorrow (HECK YEAH!) and I'm super excited but at the same time I'm super nervous.

I thought turning 13 was huge because I was officially a teenager. I thought that turning 16 was awesome because I could drive. I thought turning 17 was great because I could get into R rated movies (like that stopped me before). But turning 18, now that is HUGE! 18 is the age that when you tell people how old you are they always say "Oh so you're adult now." or "Oh so you grown now?" Like uh yeah I'm adult because I just told you... 18 is a big deal.

This birthday is my biggest one yet and it's going to be super different because for the past 17 birthdays I have been celebrating with my parents, and this year I'm going to celebrating alone or with my friends. That's the con of going to an out of state school when your birthday is during the school year. I just want to hear my mom walk into my room singing happy birthday to wake me up, and see the flowers my dad would always put on the kitchen counter. This will be new to me, but the biggest heartbreak is I won't be able to celebrate with my brother. My older brother and I share the same birthday (go mom and dad) and we haven't celebrated it together since I turned 16 and he was turning 20. This is going to be an emotional birthday because he won't be there for one of the biggest birthdays of my life. I mean yes it's his birthday too, like he's turning 22 big whoop. I'm his little sister and I'm turning 18 so I want him here with me. My family is a big deal to me,and I just want them to celebrate with me. I'll see them next week though! Thank God!

I'm nervous to be turning 18 because that means (1)I'm getting older and (2) I have to start going to the doctor by myself. 2 things that scare me the most. I know I'm still young, but I just feel like i was just 13 yesterday. I just want life to slow down for a little so I can soak it all in. I'm excited for this journey that God is leading me, and I thank him every night when i say my prayers for all the doors that he's opening for me. I'm still nervous! Also I'm nervous to go to the doctor by myself because I have to fill out the paperwork myself. Like how am I supposed to remember how old I was when I had chickenpox or when my last cold was. It would always surprise me how my parents always knew the answers. I've been to the doctor by myself before but when the doctors ask me question I always look at the chair next to the table hoping that my mom was there to answer it for me. She would say "That's because you're spoiled." I'm always like "Whatever. Y'all made me that way." These are just two things I'm scared about when it comes to turning 18. There's a long list from voting to putting my car in my name (praying my dad won't make me do it for awhile because he's awesome).

Overall I'm full of excitement because this is a new chapter for me and I can't wait for what is coming my way! But I'm mostly excited to go to the casino. One plus of going to a school in Oklahoma, there are casinos EVERYWHERE! Also I have an aunt in Seminole that wouldn't mind going with me!