I am tired. I’m tired of my family thinking I’m the same girl I was in elementary school and high school...the “smart girl” who got almost all A’s while barely trying, because I’m not anymore! I’m tired of people who didn’t know me back then, thinking that I’m ditzy and stupid. I am neither a genius nor an idiot. I’m smart and clever and love to learn, but college is challenging me in ways school never has before. I’ve worked my butt off and have still barely passed classes. I’ve stayed up till early hours of the morning to study for an exam and still have failed. I’m tired of failing!
All through elementary, middle, and high school, I easily passed classes and tests without much effort. I was always just naturally ‘smart.’ But once I got into college, everything changed and it was not for the better. My grades weren’t and still aren’t what I’m used to and it stresses me out and frustrates me beyond belief. My family always expected me to go to college and do well; I was one of the smart ones. A lot of my disappointment not only has to do with my family's expectations for me but even more with my expectations for myself. I WANT to do well and I try but it’s hard to keep trying when the work doesn’t pay off.
My college friends don’t understand or believe me when I mention how well I did in high school, and some of them don’t take my advice or assistance because they don’t think I’m as smart as they are. I may act and seem ditzy or have my ‘stupid moments,’ but it’s so degrading when a friend doesn’t listen to me because they think I’m the ‘dumb’ one and I’m tired of it. I have ambitious career goals for my future that do matter and that I plan on making happen. I’m tired of being seen as unintelligent by people I call my friends.
I have hope for the upcoming semesters, and if you’re going through a similar situation you should too. People say your GPA is just a number that won’t matter, but I know as a college student that feels impossible and untrue. For those four years you are labeled and marked and sometimes punished or rewarded for your GPA. During those four years it DOES matter! I am unhappy with how my first year and a half of college has gone, but I plan on working harder, harder than I am now or ever have to do well so I can be successful now and in the future when my GPA will just be a number. I've learned that being successful and doing well in college and life in general is not easy. "You can't dream about success, you have to work for it."
