On move in day and even the night before, I was extremely sick and couldn’t sleep.
I wanted to unpack mine and my mother’s car and just stay at home for a couple more weeks. Of course, I couldn’t because I had made a commitment to Lander and had to go whether I went willingly or dragged there. Move in day was a disaster. I was hot and felt nauseous the entire day. When I was finally settled, my mom left and I was alone and just wanted to cry. I managed to hold back the tears until the next day. I really wanted to go home.
College is stressful to say the least. You don’t have your parents around to go to when you need something. If you have a family like mine, leaving is all you ever want to do, but once you do you just want to go back. I figured this out in just a few short hours of being here and it hasn’t been an easy three days and from here on out it won’t get any easier. So yes, I want to go home and never come back.
Going home may not fix my problems because eventually I must face the inevitable. There’s no way to get around staying here for the next four years. If I choose to leave Lander next fall, I would have to pick a new school and adjust there. If I go home and go to a tech school I don’t get the degree I have set out to receive and never become an Autism Therapist. There are consequences no matter the route I take. The best option I have is to stay at lander and be a student and enjoy college. Eventually the home sickness will go away and I won’t want to go home, but for now I can sulk and complain because it is how I feel.
If you’re like me and want to go home, just know that you’re not alone and never will be. There are people around your campus that will help you adjust. Don’t overwhelm yourself like I have and become very aware of your surroundings. If you have time between classes, sit in the commons and talk to people sitting around you. Walk around campus or explore the town that you have been brought to.
Whether I can take my own advice or not, you should. I am the girl that wants to go home right now. My social anxiety and depression are skyrocketing, but I’m trying not to let those things get in the way of me having the best college experience. It’s only week one and eventually it will get better. Become the person you said you would be before you moved to that dorm you’re in. Become that person because that person got through everything you’re going through now. You’re strong and independent. Be confident and set your mind on a goal and never stop until you achieve it.
‘For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”
God will help you through the tough times.
Even if you don’t believe in God or any higher being, you will get through it. Have faith in yourself and just let loose, have fun, get to where you’re going.
Never let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game – Babe Ruth
