Dear 16-year-old self,

I am writing this letter to you because it is the year 2016 and you are 20 years old. Yes, 20 is the age you secretly never thought you were going to live to see. Well, I am proof you made it. Not only that but you have multiple good things going; not to brag but you are doing pretty good for yourself.

Now listen I know that years ago you had doubts that 20 was ever in your plan. Your mind would not let you see past the day you were on. It was frustrating I know but you prevailed and graduated high school. Not with the best grades or chords but just to walk that stage was a game changer for you. You have yet to find this out but you have major depression and anxiety; I know this is hard to hear but it makes things easier to understand. Why you struggled so much is because it wasn't being treated then. Asking for help was never one of your strong suits but you eventually do.

Do not hate me but I am in therapy once a week and see a psychiatrist once a month for my medication. You swore you would never do that but things came up that gave you no choice. I do not regret my decision, it has been really great to me and the family. Right, the family knows too and are very understanding. Please keep reading I have more to say.

I use to give myself the cliché line that everything gets better because like mom always said “Life’s not fair” I can say that you have climbed mountains (figuratively). You have become more social, a great leader, you started to write again this time publicly, and you are also considering writing a book in the near future. You have a great support system including our loving family and friends, and one amazing boyfriend.

My point of this letter is to give you hope and to tell you that even though you may not feel that you have a future, you do a pretty great one. You no longer struggle with classes because you are strong enough to ask for help which made a huge difference.

Love you always,

Yourself

The #ReasonISpeak is so others know that they can have a future and be successful in life even if they suffer/ suffered like I did. Never give up you will miss out on something great.

So in honor of suicide prevention month if you or someone you know or may not know needs to talk be there to listen or give them this number: National Suicide Hotline 1-800-273 TALK (8255)