I'm Sorry, Mom

I'm Sorry, Mom

All the things I'm sorry for but never said.

The Huffington Post

Dear Mom,

I’m sorry for being the biggest lovable pain in the ass you’ve ever encountered. I promise to keep in touch and call you often when I'm at school, and when I don’t, I promise I’ll see you a lot more when I’m back home. I always intend to stay in touch daily or every other day, but life always happens, and I want you to know that I don’t mean to neglect you.

I want you to know that I’m always trying to enjoy my life and the people in it as much as I can, as you taught me to never take any one activity or person for granted. You can have fun doing anything as long as you’re with people you love, and that is exactly what I try to do every single day.

I’m sorry for haggling you for money. I know you saved up money for your kids and all, but I still feel bad when I ask you if you can cover a pizza every few weeks or gas for the semester. Money’s a strain for everyone (believe me; as a college student, I know this best), and I hate making you live paycheck to paycheck to help sustain me. I know you don’t mind, but I know it would be easier if I was able to afford it myself.

I’m sorry for getting frustrated with you when you were worried about my well-being and future. I was going through a period of gaining my independence, and I thought I knew what I was doing and what I wanted. I know now to always listen to your intuition, as you generally know what is truly best for me.

I’m sorry for shutting you out in the times when I was depressed. From back in high school when I would lock myself in my room to here in college when I would let your calls go to voicemail, I was never meaning to hurt you. I wasn’t feeling myself, and I didn’t want to burden anyone else with my sorrow. Just know that I always knew you would still be there for me whenever I started feeling better.

I don’t know what you thought you signed up for when you had kids, but there’s no way you could’ve known about everything that is me. For all the times that I’ve been too much to handle, that I’ve seemed like I was pushing you away, that I was too busy to include you, that I seemed like a mooch, and every other occasion that I was a royal pain in your ass, I’m sorry, Mom. I love you, and I know I am never going to change, so I’m sorry for all the future struggles I’ll put you through. I’m happy to always know you’ll love me no matter how many of your buttons I happen to push.

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