Looking back now, I'm still not sure if there ever would have been an "us". Sure, there was you and there was me and there was our friendship. But could have there been something more? That is the question. When we first met, I thought you were the guy of my dreams. You were everything that I had ever wanted right down to a tee. I found myself reading into my horoscope more than ever when I met you. It was like even the stars saw potential with us. I thought maybe you had seen potential, too.
Getting to know someone is always awkward, or so I thought. But with you, it was easy. We talked about our dreams and our families and the simple things too. We never ran out of things to talk about. But was this just real genuine friendship or flirting? I have never been the one to tell the difference that easily. Being with you gave me butterflies. My friends thought I was crazy, but they saw something there too.
I started to think that maybe I was crazy, and that's where the problem came from. What would this amazing guy like you ever see in someone like me? But, I didn't want to lose you, and perhaps I jumped the gun a little. I didn't want to lose you, but I didn't even have you yet.
As the weeks turned into months, I noticed something that would later break my heart. The conversations were great and steady, and you never failed to wish me a good morning or text me and wish me luck before a test you knew I had. But nothing was moving forward. You were giving me things to work with, but I played it safe.
So here I am now, almost 6 months later. Our steady conversations got boring. I am sorry. I played it too safe. I kept things friendly. I didn't give you the chance to give me the chance. I knew what we had in common, so I stuck with this. I didn't give us the opportunity to grow, so with that, we just fell back to the ground. I broke my own heart without even realizing it.
Sure we talk now and then, and when we do I can still feel the sincerity. We do care about each other. So maybe my friends are right. Maybe there is still a future for us.
You have such a beautiful soul and you are the one guy who has ever treated me this nicely. You saw me for me. I'm sorry if I ruined us before there even was an us. Maybe, once I can find myself, we can find each other along the way.
