A friend of mine lost someone very dear to her heart a few months ago and when she called me to tell me this sad news, I really could not fathom how much pain she was in. I have never lost someone that close to me before. I didn't even know what to say to her. But I didn't want to say to her "I'm sorry for your loss". I hate when people say that in situations like this because I just feel like they say it to be appropriate. Which don't get me wrong. I'm not trying to sound rude, or mean in my feelings about that, because expressing your condolences to someone who has lost a loved one is not easy. You really don't know what to say to them. I didn't really know what I should have even said in that moment. All I could say was, "I'm sorry you're hurting".
Dealing with a loss like that sucks. The initial shock is pretty bad but when the shock wears off and you have to deal with the grieving process later, that's really the worst part. We all grieve differently too. Some of us choose to grieve silently while some of us choose to cry on a friend's shoulder. Some of us even choose to get mad because we're mad at God. We're mad He took our loved one away from us. We want answers for why He took this life too soon. We demand answers from Him or from someone. Because it isn't fair.
It's okay to be sad. Be sad. Cry. Let out all your feelings and your emotions. Scream them out if you have to. Be mad if you want to be. You have a right to be mad. Just be mad and feel what you need to feel. Talk to a friend or someone you're close to. It's okay. It's okay to be upset. Just cry. You're grieving and crying and anger are parts of that process. I understand.
I know that nothing I say will make any of this better. Nothing can make this better because you lost someone you loved. Nothing will ever make that better. But just know that you're not alone in this grieving process. Know that you have a support system to talk to and to love you through this tough time. But more importantly, know that your loved one isn't really gone. They're in your heart. They're wrapped around every fun memory you have. They're ingrained in your laughs and in your fun times. Know that they're always with you because we never truly lose someone we love. We may not be able to see them but they're always there. We carry them in our spirits. Every day we wake up and remember them, they're there. That will never change.
This next statement never really helps either but I think it's necessary to say so I will. Know that your loved one isn't in pain anymore. They are in a place that is beautiful and warm and peaceful. Their bodies don't hurt anymore. They don't feel sadness anymore. They are resting peacefully in Heaven with the Father and His son. They’re healthy and happy in Heaven where God needed another angel in His kingdom.
My friend asked me one day after she went to the funeral of her loved one, she asked, "do you believe in Heaven?" Without hesitation I told her, "I absolutely do. Heaven is real. It has to be. Because we can't live on this earth forever in pain and suffering". What's unfortunate is we all are not meant to go at the same time. Some of us have to go first so we can make room for the rest. That's okay. We all will be reunited with our loved ones one day in the presence of our Father. But until our day comes, we have to keep on living. We have to grieve and learn how to cope every day with knowing our loved one isn't here so we can see them. We have to remind ourselves that they aren't far though. They're with us. Always. But until we see them again we just have to love them from where we are. The cool thing about love is it's so powerful that our loved ones can feel it even in Heaven.
