Recently, I’ve been really turned off by using labels. I really dislike putting labels and explanations on the relationships I have with people, how I identify as a human or basically anything else that I’m doing in my life. I’m 20 years old and I care a lot about my individuality and my independence, especially as a woman. I rarely care what others think about me, and to be quite frank, I do what I please when I please. So I’m sick of people trying to force me to define a relationship.
In a day and age where you display your top eight friends on MySpace and who your "best friend" is on Snapchat, it really is hard for people to just let you live and handle your friendships/relationships with people in peace. And if I post a picture of a friend (who happens to be a guy) that I’m hanging out with on my Snap story, I don’t need 15 replies from people asking me if “that’s my new man.” Excuse me, but if I had a man or wanted a man then the people in my life who needed to know would know, OK thank you buh-bye. And what does “my man” even mean? If you are asking if we’re in a relationship just because we shared a cup of coffee together then no we aren’t and no it’s none of your business.
Labels are everywhere, they’re hard to ignore and I’m sick and tired of having some of my friends "hurt" because I haven’t outwardly denied or confirmed that they are one of my "best friends." I don’t understand the pressure to convince people that you care about them. Personally, if I love you and care about you, then you’ll know it, and why do I need to put a label on that? Do I have to go around pinning buttons on people so I can categorically separate them in my life?
One pin for friends.
Another pin for family.
Another pin for people I can’t stand.
Another pin for all the people I’ve fucked.
Another pin that says ~it’s complicated~.
And a couple of pins for "guys OR girls I’m interested in" because sexuality is fluid and I am under no obligation to commit to anything serious until I feel comfortable.
I’m just tired of feeling socially obligated to define every feeling I have for every human that I have in my life. For example, if I’m spending a lot of time with one of my friends, then I really wish people would stop insinuating that we’re "BFFs" because it doesn’t matter. He or she might just be a friend I am particularly interested in spending my time with at that point in my life, and if we choose to define our relationship in any way then we’ll let the whole world know when we’re ready. Friendship wise, relationship wise or otherwise. What I’m getting at is that it is completely OK to not DTR, because you don’t need to DTR to define your feelings. If you care about someone and like having them in your life, as a friend or more than a friend, then you don’t need to explain your relationship to other people. Because if it works, it works.
