I will never understand my generation’s concern with shallow hookups. Don't get me wrong, I'm just as guilty as the next person, but the extent that many college students have reached is being with a new person every Friday night out at the bars, and it is a bit disappointing. Many would disagree with me saying, “No, you're wrong, this is the perfect time to get it out of your system!” While that may be true, there is a balance. This balance is also understanding the dating world. Not the kind of dating where you see and hookup with someone for a couple of weeks and then move on, but dating that is a good experience for something real and amazing for the future. Who said that we have to be these people in order to have a fun and successful college experience?
Let me make myself clear. It's OK to want to have a good time, and yes, college and young adult years are the perfect times to do that. But if all you have is shallow relationships, how will anyone know when something is real? How will a girl ever know if that guy really likes her or is just trying really hard to get with her? We've come to this point in the world where we must assume all we want are shallow meaningless flings that we don't “remember.” But the truth is that we remember them. They are experiences that happen and shape who we are. All those shallow relationships that always turned bad were learning experiences for me. 2015 was my growing up year, showing just how much I don't want to repeat the shallow guys that came into my life all year. We remember them because we want to tell the stories of our crazy nights in college, but in the end that's all people have: Shallow one night stories. Soon, that's all people will have to tell, instead of amazing experiences with friends and that great guy who changed your life for the better. It's sad when we accept anything less than that.
Girls: You deserve to be looked at with compassion, to be told how beautiful you are and that you don't need to wear practically nothing out to have a guy look at you. You don't need to dance on that table to have your ass smacked and be seen as the fun party girl that knows how to let loose. Let's not let this become our culture completely, because girls—we are better than that.
Guys: Don't think that girls are your play toy for the night. She deserves to see how good of a guy you can be. Be that nice guy who makes sure she gets home at the end of the night. Text her later to make sure she's OK and not just to “hang out” again. Be the good guy girls will never ask for.
I will always stand my ground and not accept this as my culture, that this defines my generation and what relationships have become. I will always know there are people out there who want what I want: Something real. Something I can actually feel deep down instead of just the surface that everyone physically sees. I will always accept the ones who want to take me out and talk than the ones who just want to come over to my place and hang out. Do not accept anything less than what you deserve because everything single person deserves something deeper than to be a hookup for the night.
