All over Instagram and FaceBook accounts there are pictures depicting “wifey material” with women and girls making sandwiches, cooking and cleaning. There are also pictures of men and boys working outside, playing with girls’ hair and holding babies claiming they are “hubby material.” By why? Why is our generation so caught up in being “wifey material?” Why are we so worried about finding someone who will talk to us, love us and maybe marry us? These pictures are a misinterpretation of husbands, wives and what marriage should be.
I’m here to say that I’m not wifey matieral and it’s OK if you aren’t.
All of the pictures I’ve seen on social media depicting wifey material are of women cooking alone, doing all of the cleaning and doing their “womanly duties.” I would almost bet that primarily men but occasionally some women made these pictures as well as the captions. Don't get me wrong, there are two different roles in relationships that one partner will be better at than the other. One person might burn cereal and the other might be able to cook gourmet meals easier than sweeping the floor.
No, I am not married and no I am not a feminist, but I’m a firm believer that relationships are a team effort. To make a relationship work, responsibilities of the household must be shared. I’m all for cooking and burning down the house together. This is the 21st century and there are so many more opportunities for men and women than there have been in the past. Not all women are stay at home moms and not all men bring home the bacon.
Like I said, I’m not wifey material. If I ever get married, I’m not taking that person to raise. I’m not your mother, nor will I ever be. I’d much rather call in a pizza and watch movies than slave over a meal that requires 3 hours of my time to prepare. If your friends are over to watch the game, I’d rather be sitting on the couch yelling at the T.V. too than catering to you and your friends. I also won’t expect you to be the only one supporting our family. I’m not in college striving for a degree for my health.
I’m not your typical girl or typical girlfriend and I definitely won’t be your typical wife. I won’t wake you up with the smell of breakfast because chances are if it’s a weekend I’m sleeping until noon-thirty. I’ll probably burn at least one piece of food every time I cook for you and then proceed to tell you we’re going to get some wings and beer instead. For your birthday I’d rather buy you Razorback season football tickets that we can both go to rather than buying or making you something more sentimental. When you wake up next to me, you won’t see Sleeping Beauty. You'll see that my mouth will be open, I'll be drooling and snoring, my eyes will be partially open and my hair will look like Mufasa's mane.
I don’t have unrealistic expectations for a husband to be “hubby material,” and I don’t want someone to have unrealistic expectations of me to be “wifey material.” I know that people have their faults and it’s hard to live with someone no matter how much you love them. I don’t expect my future spouse to have to pay for everything we have just like I hope he doesn’t expect me to cater to his every need.
I will be your best friend, your support system, your spouse, your partner in crime but more importantly your equal. I won’t be your second mother or your babysitter. And we definitely won’t just exist in the same house. We will be 50+ years old and still be attending concerts, watching Harry Potter marathons while drinking cheap wine and taking spontaneous trips to the beach.
But don't worry, I'll still make you sandwiches... I might eat half of it before I bring it to you, though.