Why I'm Not Wifey Material

Why I'm Not Wifey Material

I ain't yo momma.
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All over Instagram and FaceBook accounts there are pictures depicting “wifey material” with women and girls making sandwiches, cooking and cleaning. There are also pictures of men and boys working outside, playing with girls’ hair and holding babies claiming they are “hubby material.” By why? Why is our generation so caught up in being “wifey material?” Why are we so worried about finding someone who will talk to us, love us and maybe marry us? These pictures are a misinterpretation of husbands, wives and what marriage should be.

I’m here to say that I’m not wifey matieral and it’s OK if you aren’t.

All of the pictures I’ve seen on social media depicting wifey material are of women cooking alone, doing all of the cleaning and doing their “womanly duties.” I would almost bet that primarily men but occasionally some women made these pictures as well as the captions. Don't get me wrong, there are two different roles in relationships that one partner will be better at than the other. One person might burn cereal and the other might be able to cook gourmet meals easier than sweeping the floor.

No, I am not married and no I am not a feminist, but I’m a firm believer that relationships are a team effort. To make a relationship work, responsibilities of the household must be shared. I’m all for cooking and burning down the house together. This is the 21st century and there are so many more opportunities for men and women than there have been in the past. Not all women are stay at home moms and not all men bring home the bacon.

Like I said, I’m not wifey material. If I ever get married, I’m not taking that person to raise. I’m not your mother, nor will I ever be. I’d much rather call in a pizza and watch movies than slave over a meal that requires 3 hours of my time to prepare. If your friends are over to watch the game, I’d rather be sitting on the couch yelling at the T.V. too than catering to you and your friends. I also won’t expect you to be the only one supporting our family. I’m not in college striving for a degree for my health.

I’m not your typical girl or typical girlfriend and I definitely won’t be your typical wife. I won’t wake you up with the smell of breakfast because chances are if it’s a weekend I’m sleeping until noon-thirty. I’ll probably burn at least one piece of food every time I cook for you and then proceed to tell you we’re going to get some wings and beer instead. For your birthday I’d rather buy you Razorback season football tickets that we can both go to rather than buying or making you something more sentimental. When you wake up next to me, you won’t see Sleeping Beauty. You'll see that my mouth will be open, I'll be drooling and snoring, my eyes will be partially open and my hair will look like Mufasa's mane.

I don’t have unrealistic expectations for a husband to be “hubby material,” and I don’t want someone to have unrealistic expectations of me to be “wifey material.” I know that people have their faults and it’s hard to live with someone no matter how much you love them. I don’t expect my future spouse to have to pay for everything we have just like I hope he doesn’t expect me to cater to his every need.

I will be your best friend, your support system, your spouse, your partner in crime but more importantly your equal. I won’t be your second mother or your babysitter. And we definitely won’t just exist in the same house. We will be 50+ years old and still be attending concerts, watching Harry Potter marathons while drinking cheap wine and taking spontaneous trips to the beach.

But don't worry, I'll still make you sandwiches... I might eat half of it before I bring it to you, though.

Cover Image Credit: Watching Marley RP

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An Open Letter To My Boyfriend's Mom

A simple thank you is not enough.
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Your son and I have been dating a while now and I just wanted to thank you for everything.

Wow, where do I start? Ever since the day your son brought me into your home you have shown me nothing but kindness. I have not one negative thought about you and I am truly thankful for that. I first and foremost want to thank you for welcoming me with open arms. There are horror stories of mothers resenting their son's girlfriends and I am blessed there is no resentment or harsh feelings.

Thank you for treating me like one of your children, with so much love but knowing exactly when to tease me.

Thank you for sticking up for me when your son teases me, even though I know it’s all in good fun it's always comforting knowing you have someone by your side.

Thank you for raising a man who respects women and knows how to take responsibility of mistakes and not a boy who is immature and doesn’t take responsibility.

Thank you for always including me in family affairs, I may not be blood family but you do everything you can to make sure I feel like I am.

Thank you for letting me make memories with your family.

There is nothing I value more in this world then memories with friends and family and I am thankful you want and are willing to include me in yours. I have so much to thank you for my thoughts keep running together.

The most important thing I have to thank you for is for trusting me with your son. I know how precious and valuable he is and I won't break his heart. I will do everything I can to make him happy. This means more than you could ever imagine and I promise I will never break your trust.

The second most important thing I must thank you for is for accepting me for who I am. Never have you ever wished I looked like another girl or acted like another girl. You simply love and care for me and that’s all I could ever ask. Every person in this world is a unique different person and understanding that means a lot.

The third most important thing I must thank you is teaching me how to one day in the future treat a potential girlfriend that I may interact with as a mother. I am not a mother, but I one day plan to be. If I ever have a son it is because of how you treated me that I am able to be a humble loving mother to this new face that could one day walk into my door. How you have treated me has taught me how I should one day be in the future and I thank you for that.

This may seem all over the place but that’s how my brain gets when I try and thank you for everything you have done for me. It’s all so much and even the little things are so important so I promise my scattered thoughts are all with good intentions and not meant to bombard you. I just want to get the idea across to you that you are important and special to me and everything you do does not go unnoticed.

Sincerely,

Your Son’s Girlfriend

Cover Image Credit: Christian Images and Quotes

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I’d Much Rather Celebrate Valentine’s Day With My Single Girlfriends Than Any Guy

Bring on the pizza and ice cream because Valentine's Day is Girls Only this year.

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Being single during any time of the year is difficult, but it can be even harder with Valentine's Day quickly approaching. People either love it or love to hate it. It's a day filled with dramatic romantic gestures, carefully planned dates, and an abundance of roses and chocolates. Well, at least for some it is. The pressure to have a "Valentine" as well as have the perfect evening is so high that in my option it completely takes the fun out of the day. So this Valentine's Day, I won't be stressing over the perfect outfit, restaurant or date. Instead, I'll be deciding if I should have another slice of pizza while my girlfriends try to figure out which cheesy rom-com we should watch next.

I don't hate Valentine's Day, I actually think it's really romantic. I think it's great that some people find happiness in grand gestures and extravagant presents. When I feel about someone strongly enough, I'm sure I'd do the same, but as of right now I don't. I don't want to be someone valentine or worry about finding the perfect gift. I want to focus on myself and just have a fun night with my girls. We worry so much about what everyone has to say about the things we do that often times we don't make any decisions for ourselves. Be a little selfish and do only what you want. Order too much food, break out the wine, and enjoy a stress-free night with the people that mean the most to you.

You will find me on the couch with my sorority sisters most likely catching up on "The Bachelor" or ruining our diets with dollar store sweets. And yes, I know there's an unofficial holiday already called, "Galentine's Day" (which I will be celebrating too) that's for ladies celebrating ladies. Who says you can't do it two nights in a row? Who says that Valentine's Day has to be a day spent with a romantic partner?

This is me telling you to take this day to have some fun and ignore the pressures society (and ourselves) put on ourselves constantly. Surround yourself with the people who support you; the ones who stick around through it all and love you unconditionally. If you still want to stay in the festive mood, you can exchange valentines with your friends and treat each other with chocolate hearts. And if you want to celebrate Valentine's Day with your significant other, go ahead, I'm not stopping you.

So, no matter what Valentine's Day for you is, celebrate it however you want. Dress up to the nines and have the night of your life. Stay in, order takeout, and fall asleep watching a movie. Hang out with your girlfriends, guy friends, or both! It doesn't matter how you do Valentine's Day, but rather who you spend it with.

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