I grew up with wonderful parents. I mean, really, really wonderful. I have been more than blessed to have parents who love me, support me, and show me unbelievable kindness and forgiveness. They have emotionally and financially supported me with just about everything I had a dream of doing. My parents are, in some ways, the perfect parents.
When I was 14, I told my mom one of my biggest dreams was to study abroad. Ever since, she has done everything she could to help me fulfill that dream. In just 4 months, I will be taking off to Scotland to live that dream and I have to thank her for a lot of it.
When I was 13, a boy hurt me for the first time. I liked him so much and he didn't like me as much. He led me on and made me think I had a chance, when all along, I didn't. My dad, who has never been good at emotions, took me to get ice cream. He didn't say much, but his company and his jokes lifted my heart in ways I didn't even know it could.
I don't have the perfect family. No one does. We had our tough times and we got through them. I was young when everything happened. I was a freshman in high school. I watched as my sister wasn't the best daughter and since then, I realized I had to be perfect. For my parents. I had to be everything that my sister wasn't.
From then on, I was a straight A student, I was the best and captain on my soccer team, I was outgoing, I was family oriented, I was kind. I never talked back. I was always happy. I never really let anyone see me be anything but happy. I became editor in chief for my school newspaper. I was nominated for awards. I received an academic scholarship to school. I tried to be the least troubled as I possibly could. I never disobeyed my parents.
But, I've realized, as I've gotten older, they don't want perfect.
Maybe I realized when my mom always looks at me and just knows when things are okay, but I pretend they are. Or, maybe, it was when my dad asks my mom how I am because he doesn't know how to ask me.
I noticed me trying not to be problematic or troubled, I wasn't being me. I was putting this facade to show my parents how great I was. I didn't want them to go through what they have before. I wanted to be the daughter everyone else wished they had.
To my mom and my dad, from now on, I will let you in. You deserve to know who I really am and what I'm really feeling. I'm not the perfect daughter or person. Even when I was trying to be, I still wasn't. But, now, I won't hide my mistakes. I will learn from them, like you have always wanted me to.
Thank you for always being there for me.
