While I’ve had my fair share of tea parties with barbies, I was never much of a stereotypical girl. I was always just a little too bossy and I had an intense propensity to play in all things muddy. I was socialized to behave in certain ways just like every other person, but, to my father’s dismay, very few lessons of the “lady-like” aspiration were learned. I clung to my brashness and continued to develop a colorful vocabulary.
I’ve never cared for the idea that men were the leaders by divine right, or rather I didn’t understand. It never made sense to me that I would take the same classes as boys and be held to the same standards as a child only to be secondary to my husband’s will as an adult. It’s never made sense to me that marriage was a partnership but that women had an assigned role that was relegated to childcare and homecare (not that those tasks are any less difficult or important). I’m not gentle in any manner because that’s not who I am. I do not possess the quiet wisdom that stereotypical female leaders have.
I recently read an article that claimed that feminism was not something they identified because they felt that women were weak with a gentle strength given by God. I do not believe this and I never will. I fought other children regardless of gender as a child and I’ve continue to do so as an adult (despite how often it gets me into trouble).
I’m the girl who stands at the front of the room instead of sitting down to follow meekly. I have no interest in being someone’s little wife or secretary. I’m determined to change the world and “ladies” don’t do that. As society has progressed, we’ve tried to morph the meaning of the word lady into an honor but that is not possible. The word is literally symbolic of suppression and I refuse to be associated with it.
I’m not interested in being this beacon of grace; I’m interested in actually making the world better. When we think of women like Alice Paul, or rather don’t think of women like her, we attribute the work that they do to women who are less controversial, but it cannot be ignored that controversy creates pressure. We can pretend like deep rooted issues can be changed by time and graceful pushes towards progress because that’s what ladies do, but this idea is what has lead to women still being victims of indoctrinated sexism.
As Anne Smith says, “We cannot assume equal opportunities if there is not an equal outcome.” Currently, men make more than women and dominate nearly every major workforce. If we accept this, we can only assume one of two things: one, men are inherently smarter or more superior to women or two, women are not given the same opportunities in society as men. I will not accept the former and believe profoundly in the latter. I’ll yell, I’ll cuss, and I’ll protest. I’m here to win this fight and I can’t do that with a gentle grace that I do not possess. It’s okay to consider yourself a lady and to believe that men should be the leader of the household just don’t spend your life judging women who don’t. I believe in a generation that will outgrow gender roles and treat women as equals to men instead of ladies.
